I question the definition of “spiteful” gifts. For many years my brother and I engaged in a “poop themed gift” contest. Not what anyone would consider great gifts, but hilarious and really good memories.
My brother and I would give each other a box of frozen fish sticks (not the same box every year). The suspiciously cold gifts would come, wrapped, straight from the freezer, moments before unwrapping presents commenced.
As kids, we ate a lot of fish sticks. Uncountable. Our mom worked unpredictable shifts at the hospital and dad simply did not cook, ever. Neither of us eats fish sticks, to this day.
Yep, nailed it.
If I become closer to someone new in the fall, I make sure they know months ahead of time that I don’t give Christmas/holiday gifts to friends, only a very small number of close family members. I’ll point out that I’d be happy to do something together during the holiday season, but I don’t want to exchange things. People are always relieved when I do that.
I hand-make all my spite gifts. That way the recipients know I really care to spite them.
Spiteful gifts? Who has the time (let alone the money) to waste? Such people should consider getting a life…
Like unto the fowls of the air, when it comes to gifts, I neither sow, nor do I reap*. I would say that I am bad at late stage Capitalism; except that I am currently selling unopened big box kickstarter games on eBay because I’m being crushed under their emotion opprobrium.
*That is an annoying saying that just sounds wrong the correct way round; like load and lock, sounding better as lock and load.
For some people, every gift is a weapon: “Read this book so you won’t be stupid!” “Eat the food instead of that crap you’re used to!” “Wear this shirt instead of that rag you’ve got on!” “Take this course and learn how to cook!”
That’s a good way to get yourself murdered.
Does sending my sibling (who is more than four years older than me yet in better shape than me, goddamnit) ten cases of their favorite Tastykakes count as a spite gift ?
I have neither time nor money to waste, not to mention energy;
If I don’t like someone, I just won’t bother getting them a gift - end of story.
That’s not a gift of ‘spite,’ but one of ulterior motives, for sure…
that’d be the spite.
Spiteful gifts would also include getting the correct video game, but for the wrong console (on purpose). Or getting a clothes item that the recipient wanted but in the wrong size (again, on purpose).
Uncle Steve ?
By your own admission he enjoys TastyKake, so it’s not a gift that you know he won’t like or can’t use.
That it’s not exactly the healthiest thing to eat is beside the point; that’s ‘the icing’ on the snack cake, as it were…
Would be higher but the potential respondents were, well, drunk.
I’ll never forget the Christmas my mother (at the time) got me 4 items of clothing. I had asked for casual clothes in natural fabrics, like sweaters and jeans. I got a pink button-down polyester top, a different-pink and different-poly-blend hobble skirt that went to my calf with no slit, and a top and skirt made of the same polyester pattern to be worn together so it looked like a dress. All 4 items, including the two that were meant to be worn together, were 4 different sizes, none of them even close to my size. I think the top/bottom combo was size 2 on top and size 16 on bottom, or something like that.
I swear to God I thought one of my Best Bros for Life would love the Goose shaped lamp I got him one Christmas. He didn’t. Called it “The Worst Gift Ever” and this was before The Simpsons.
OTOH: He loved the porcelain castle with tiny platforms for his D&D figures I got him the next year. Go figure?
I once gave my mom a book she had already read and had hated, but it was legitimately an accident. I now remind her of it every year when I ask her if there’s something she would like for Christmas. (She always says no, which naturally doesn’t mean “no presents, thanks” but “no, you have to guess.”)
I didn’t realize until I got married that adults could have Christmas lists too, and that giving each other the gift of shopping NOT being an emotionally fraught guessing game nightmare was pretty awesome. Thanks, spouse’s family! Too bad my side hasn’t caught on…
