Wine company aged 2,000 expensive bottles at the bottom of the ocean but were then forced to dump them

I recall one start-up wanted to ‘speed age wine’ by using ultrasound (iirc, mb not heh)
I’m pretty sure it went nowhere… other than perhaps the landfill

I can tell a story from personal experience: I used to do contract work for Beringer Vineyards (and the parent co.) They had a guy named Tim Hanni who was developing this idea of a taste called “umami” way back in the 90s? Anyway Tim told this story of a wine blind tasting. Two bottles, no view of the labels or what sort of wine iirc. Everyone, I mean EVERYONE identified wine B as clearly superior. Tim reveals the bottle labels and GASP! it is the same wine, same year, same everything… except… wine B spent most of a week rolling around in the trunk of Tim’s car, prematurely aging it (and ruining it for actual long term aging btw)

Just drink what you like. Our ‘house wine’ is a cheap ass $3.33 a bottle white. Used to be $2.67 (inflation, sigh)


Wouldn’t tidal forces also move the wine pr wine bottles?


what you need to do is develop a wine shaker that takes those 3.33 bottles of wine and ages them.
Though it is possible that these bottles are underpriced because they aren’t worth aging, so agitation would simply bring out their essential vinigary qualities.


You just know someone is going to use this to whine about burdensome regulations, government stifling innovation, etc.

We have all those regulations because assholes put garbage at the bottom of the oceans. Assholes wrecked fisheries and corals because they didn’t check with the experts first. Assholes polluted and killed marine life by using substandard equipment. Assholes sold contaminated products that made their customers sick. Assholes collected taxes then stole the revenue from the state.

So it’s either have regulations, or deal with a pile of shit some selfish assholes created to get rich. And society finally decided we’re done dealing with shit from freeloading assholes. That’s what regulations are – society’s decision to not put up with shit.


Yeah, the thinking was, “it’s the ocean, it’s not regulated!”

When in fact, “it’s the ocean, that means it’s heavily regulated by federal and international law”

Wine is plagued with fraud. Some of the more hilarious and memorable ones are a recent wine storage Ponzi scheme and someone who was selling Thomas Jefferson’s personal collection. I guess there’s enough there are probably FBI agents working full time on wine.


Astounding. Everybody that makes wine for personal use ought to know you can’t sell it without a license. They also ought to be aware that there are yearly volume limits. I’d have to look those up since it’s been a while since my 5 gallon batch days.


There are a couple of things this reminds me of.

One is a recent case where a salvage company recovered a large amount of silver from a British merchant ship that had been sunk by a Japanese submarine in WW2. For various legal reasons, they wanted to bring the silver ashore first in the UK, without bringing it into any other country’s territorial waters. So when the salvage ship had to go into port to resupply, they “wet stored” any silver they had recovered, lowering it in a cage to the seabed in international waters, leaving it there, then bringing it back up when they left port again.

The other is the Norwegian tradition of Linie akvavit, a distilled spirit that is shipped from Norway to Australia and back while being barrel aged. The movement and temperature changes of the sea voyage allegedly affect the process.


and if the bottles don’t come out looking that way, you know glue and shell is going to make them look like it. yay, marketing.

why disturb the sea any more than we already do? ( less. less would be good )


Regulations are how voters flex their power against people who can buy their way out of responsibility to everyone else.


TIL the punishment for dumping wine in the ocean is to have it confiscated and dumped in a river.



One day I cast into the sea
(But I no longer remember under what skies)
As an offering unto Nonentity
A little wine of a sort I prize.

Who, O liquor, wished you to part?
Perhaps you were an omen I could not divine:
Perhaps concerned with my own heart,
Thinking of blood, and pouring wine?

I watched the sea resume,
After a rosy spume,
Its usual transparency. …

Lost the wine, drunk the waves!
I saw leaping from sea-caves
Figures of greatest profundity.


And in this case “ask forgiveness, not permission” was the wrong tact to take.


Suspicious Monkey GIF by MOODMAN


If their wine was being moved by the tides, that means it would be in relatively shallow water. Which means it would be receiving light and almost certainly sound (both of which the company says is not happening). Do I totally believe what the company is saying about how they age the wine underwater? No. The whole thing sounds like a gimmick.


Well put! :clap:


This story dropped a few weeks ago and when my wife told me about it, that was also my immediate reaction as well. “What tech bro from the Valley dreamed up this grift?”


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