I learned something today: did you know every time a guy goes in for an ultrasound they crack the joke, āis it a girl or a boyā?
(Iām fine, but by my 9am appointment the technician had heard that joke five times that day :D. She had also never seen Alien and had no idea who John Hurt is)
Shouldnāt you just accept it on principle?
How did you get a picture of my grandma?
Why do you see your grandma?
Well, those are her eyes, and thatās her lower mandibleā¦ how could I NOT recognize the old battle-axe?
Did anyone else get stuck in Buffalo and then decide that they were going to unplug from the internet for a few days because of all the fuckwads in the world posting things about refugees were going to come over and rape/kill/steal all the chocolate milk and then a week went by?
Why didnāt you call me when you were stuck in Buffalo, we could have hung out? Diagnosis positive in my world, surveillance in three months and my oncologist cracked a Ben Carson joke, so he and I are going to be all right.
Why is grandma so sad in that picture? Is it because I called her a battle-axe? Didnāt my mom raise me to be honest?
Should we spend time this week talking about your mother?
Because I can barely find myself?
Well, since she led a somewhat interesting life, couldnāt I talk for hours and hours and never run out of material?
Well, isnāt it a good thing I charge hourly?
I thought you charged any time somebody waved a flag, or put lenses on sale?
So, am I the only person who sees the Charlieās Angels logo?
(āclosestā I could get to the font on this machine)
Did you know that Iām not currently in Buffalo anymore?
Isnāt that a character from a Neil Blomkamp movie?
