Full transcript at Andy Borowitz report, via New Yorker:http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/08/obama-promises-syria-strike-will-have-no-objective.html
One thing is clear: it would be irresponsible to stand by and let thousands of innocent Syrians die when we could drop a bunch of bombs and let thousands of innocent Syrians die.
"Limited narrow act" could mean a drone in Assad's bedroom. (not an endorsement.)
And "I will wait for Congress to approve" could mean, "Assad, you have one more chance to do the right thing."
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