$1 million San Francisco loft has diagonal support beam that cuts through the middle of the kitchen

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/07/26/1-million-san-francisco-loft.html


I would stub my toe on that thing every day of the week and twice on Sundays.

Also, wouldn’t you do better just to square it off and make that a very narrow little counter?



Of course everyone will want one now.


Well I do believe you could ride your electric scooter right up that beam! The downside is that your avocado toast would slide right onto the floor.


You know, sometimes when I’m in the kitchen, I too could use a leaning post while I wait for things to cook. Probably wouldn’t pay a million for one though.


Wtf. Why would you put the kitchen cabs around it like that. Why not make a small bar table or something.


It is already sold…

“SOLD 6/5/18”

Damn, I was going to schedule an appointment to see it with “Movoto”.

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Thanks internet! You are currently quite awesome. I got this while trying to see more beam pictures:

"403 - Permission Denied
European users are prohibited from visiting Movoto’s website due to GDPR compliance requirements, please see Movoto’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy for further details.

Copyright © 2005 - 2018 Movoto, Inc. All rights reserved. CalBRE #01517281"


“giant fucking beam”

Personally I would find that a little hard on the lower back, but…it’s San Francisco, it’ll work out.


Here’s the other beam photo

And here’s a pic of the majestic structure a million bux gets you into:


$1M… for a loft, anywhere…


My engineering sommelier tells me that those are classified as (bespoke) ‘whimsical beams’; and are much rarer than ‘simply supported’, ‘cantilever’ and similar widely mass produced varieties.


Yeah, I get that for structural reasons that beam has to be there. But it’s flat out fucking awful architectural design to just build the kitchen around it as if it weren’t there. Placing the fridge and the stove on either side of it, plus as a bonus breaking up the usable bench space? WTF? In terms of movement and workflow that is going to be a frustratingly horrible space to use.

Why not put the entire kitchen on the other side of that room? Why not get rid of that hideous painting of a tree and have an L shaped kitchen? Why not do something that uses the space you have, instead of whishing you had a different space?

I don’t fundamentally object to paying $1M for a nice place in a great location. I do object to shitty design that ignores the context for which it’s being designed.


McCondo? Is there a word for this already? Whatever the overpriced loft equivalent of a McMansion is. I.e., lacking any craftsmanship, architectural competence, sensibility or taste whatsoever.

I mean, even without the beam, that’s just an incredibly bland, lazy kitchen layout and design. I feel like even the laziest, dumbest architecture apprentice who ever took up a pencil could probably bang out a more clever use of that space in a short afternoon punctuated by long breaks for cat video watching marathons and hits from a mezcal bottle hidden under the drafting table.

Some kind of eccentric industrial-chic steel-beam and recycled glass brick wall, maybe? Incorporate it into a custom staircase? Endless possibilities, really.

But apparently a million bucks only buys you exactly the same lazy off-the-Home-Depot-shelf layout every single other unit in the building probably has, minus a couple of cupboard fronts.


If I paid a million dollars for that beam, it would be the best damn beam in the whole wide world.


Till I saw the exterior I thought it might be some renovated old warehouse with an “artifact”. I’m wondering if it was some kind of earthquake proofing mandated late in the game. Still a crappy way to deal with a design problem.


The other other beam photo appears to be missing: that’d be the one where the beam continues upstairs and presumably divides that little closet into diagonal halves like some kind of bias-cut grilled cheese sandwich. Check out the floor plans.

Switching a couple of walls around could have fixed this easily. Even made it a nice design feature. Just astonishing.


“Why not put the entire kitchen on the other side of that room?”
Or just wall it off entirely - nobody in that building cooks. They eat three meals a day, 5 days a week “on campus”, and spend the weekends waiting in line for upscale food trucks.

The kitchen’s only there to hold empty take-out trays or the occasional gig-economy personal chef.


Wait, I don’t get how for structural reasons the beam has to be there. Beams usually go horizontally with posts vertically. When I saw that I was expecting that the unit was part of some crazy building with cantilevered units or something. What kind of rectangular box of a building has any need for a diagonal beam?