A building contractor explains "haunted" houses

Originally published at: A building contractor explains "haunted" houses | Boing Boing


Well, sure. But how do you explain it happening right in the middle of a Ouija board session? Hmm?

(It was definitely a friend’s mom hitting the circuit breaker to freak us out)


Later on, the ghost comes by and taps them all back into place, so that the same cycle of noises can repeat every night. /s

Wood, brick, copper wire, aluminum ductwork, all expand/contract at different rates.


Christ what a spoilsport


Back in college I worked at a place where I was alone much of the time, and I’d hear lots of weird “haunted house” noises which I was sure were just things like this. Then a couple times I saw a big heavy door open on its own. That was weird, but there had to be a rational explanation, since it was a drafty industrial building with lots of doors and stuff where wind could get in.

Then one rainy afternoon I was there using the office computer to work on a paper and I heard the office door (which was around the corner and out of sight) open. Like I heard the sound the doorknob makes when it springs back after someone turns it and the door creak as it opened. I thought “oh cool someone stopped by I can take a break”, but there was nobody there. I thought maybe it was a co-worker punking me so I searched the building and then looked outside to see whose car was parked in from of the shop. Only mine was there. I packed up and went home as fast as I could.


At the start of COVID, our ND Neighbor took her kids to California to be with her parents, literally walking away from their house. A few months later we convinced her to rent to another family that was coming to our area for the same reason. We cleaned up the house, did the rental contract and managed the place for her.

Not 2 weeks into the contract, we hear that the wife is apparently really superstitious and wants to MOVE because she thinks there are GHOSTS in the house (house is only 14 years old). They were apparently used to living in a high-rise apartment in Miami and there were “new noises” here (like the sump pump coming on and a shared fire wall with another house). The homeowner even made a LIST OF NOISES they would be hearing and explained what they were, but this did not convince the wife. They were going to break the contract and find someplace else but there was nothing else. They ended up staying.


99% of ghosts in old houses are actually cantankerous landlords trying to scare kids off their property.



It’s all rational explanations right up until your books start sliding out of their bookshelves and your tchochkies are yeeting themselves onto the floor -at least in my experience.


i notice he doesn’t explain the voices, though.


“…and if you see a glowing green mist in the basement, that’s probably not a ghost. And that’s not good news. That’s radon. Causes cancer. Just tell the real estate agent its a ghost, the house will sell faster.”


In that case, I’d check for cats.


I shouldn’t laugh, since I imagine there are a lot of places in Florida where houses don’t have basements, but I’m more used to fearing when you don’t hear the sump pump turn on.


YouTube Paranormal Activity Videos … Poltergeists; hidden video creator tugging on monofilament attached to objects or simply throwing objects.


Explains the many large front doors I’ve seen in So Cal not being made wood which can warp in high temps.


That one’s possibly a brain lesion. Not his speciality and I respect his boundaries.


… but really, which explanation is more irrational anyway—people trying to talk to us from the future inside a black hole, or just ghosts :ghost:

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