A self-winding winder will wind your self-winding watch

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/03/27/a-self-winding-winder-will-win.html

why only wind ONE when you could wind FOUR!

more is better!!


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Superlative chronometer? You have a Rolex? I would have guessed you would have a watch from the USSR or maybe some unnecessarily complex tourbillon.

The problem with these things is that the wear they inflict. If your watch sits stopped, the gears aren’t wearing down. After 15-20 years the movement will be useless.


…but how many winds will a winder wind if a self-winding watch can wind your watch?


1st world problem?

0th world solution?


I’m at a loss. But I just got back from GDC and may be suffering from “con crud” and “jet lag” (or possibly just “stupid”).

But if the watch self-winds, why would anyone need a device which winds the watch? It — the watch —doesn’t wind itself?

I am pleasantly astonished to find that this is a mere passively-monetized Amazon affiliate link post, and not a full-on BoingBoingStore™ feature.

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And who makes time with the timekeeper’s daughter while the timekeeper’s busy keeping time?


From John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme, series 4, episode 5:

“And now we come to the centerpiece of the exhibition. Can anyone tell me what this object is? No? You can’t see it at the back, it’s roughly cuboid, about a foot square, beautifully finished with brushed aluminium and maple wood. And under the glass lid are four round places for putting something. Each about the size of a jam jar lid. And when I press this switch, those receptacles begin to rock gently to and fro. Well, to explain what this is and why it’s so significant to the museum, I must first tell you a bit about watches. When watches were first made, they were very expensive. A status symbol for the rich. And they ran on elaborate clockwork, a system of tiny, finely balanced weights, cogs and springs, and had to be wound up by hand every day. As time went on it became possible to make watches cheaply as well and these often ran on small batteries. But the mechanical ones became a status symbol because of the craft required to make them. Then, a watchmaker discovered a way to use the natural movements of the wearer’s arm to keep the mechanical ones charged, without needing either manual winding or batteries. These became the most highly priced and expensive of all. But some very, very rich people, might have two such watches. Or even more! And then, the ones that weren’t being worn, would begin to loose their charge. And so, the luxury watch companies began to make and sell these objects, to their richest clients. Machines, in which the buyer could store up to four of his spare, luxury, batteryless watches, which would rock them ceaselessly to and fro to simiulate the movements of the arm and keep them charged. And it ran, of course, of the mains. And that is why, this humble object, forms the centerpiece of our museum of human folly. Where it stands as a constant lesson and a warning to us, the cockroach people who emerged from the ruins of their doomed civilization, never to be as bloody silly as them.”


It only winds itself when you wear it.

The kinetic energy of you moving your hands around turns and offset weight in the watch. If you don’t wear it every day or most days, it’ll wind down and stop.

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Yeah, it doesn’t “wind” the watch by twisting the crown, rather it simulates the motion of swinging your arms while you wear the watch, which keeps the mainspring wound.

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Who winds the self winding watch winder?

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A self-winding winder will wind your self-winding…

I’m not ashamed to say I’m slightly aroused right now.

I’m a little ashamed.


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Given the wrist-action needed to keep these things going and the general characteristics of their wearers, I usually refer to them as “self-wanking watches”.

So what we have here is a self-wanking watch wanker.

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I’ve worn the same self-winding watch virtually 24-7 for over 15 years now. It’s been off just three times, 2 for band repairs and once for a service. I’m not sure what wrist action you’re talking about. “These things” stay wound without a second thought. But hey, we all enjoy a good wank every now and then, don’t we?

You seem bitter.

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I would like to state that I still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea


Yeah, Douglas Adams probably went a bit too far there.

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