A woman perfectly explains why "two weeks' notice" is dead

Confirmed. As a software developer, often the way to get a nice bump up in pay is to job hop, and most companies I have worked for have three months notice. Only caveat is that you have been there for six months.

I have only been fired once, more often it’s me leaving for better pay, or for a company that is more ethical. When fired, they gave me the three months as vacation. Otherwise, when quitting, the companies kept me on for the whole three months (but made sure I used up my vacation time as well).

I cannot imagine returning to work for a US company any more. This Yankee is staying in Munich, vielen Dank auch.

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OT but how do you like Munich? I’ve been in Berlin for five years and have been thinking about trying life down there, in part to be closer to the mountains, but also because it seems like a cool city. How’s the friendliness level down there?

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I have a particular fondness for this expensive, arrogant, self-satisfied city. It might not be the hippest place, the live music is definitely more elsewhere, but it’s cosmopolitan, friendly, and I enjoy just hanging out along the Isar river, or joining friends in a Biergarten, and so on.

I would say the Münchner Grantler is a thing, but not as rude as the Berliner Schnauze.

You know what? Just let me know when you’re coming for a visit, and I’ll show you around.

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As if a company cares about your parents, kids or other situations that complicate your being fired.

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I’m amazed at how many employers don’t understand this. I left a job and the employer wanted me to sign a doc that said for 2 years we wouldn’t say anything other than I worked there from start date to end date, they wanted that then would give me 3 week severance. I agreed and when I finally left they said something snarky about my reputation in a couple years to which I informed them that the slander liability would still be in effect. Blood drained from there face as this was not the first time they did it.

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And the reason for that is unionisation.

Historically speaking, the political labour movement, usually referred to as political socialism, made this possible. While this may seem odd to anyone born on this side of the century, and very, very odd to anyone who grew up in the US, it is a historical fact.

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I worked for a transphobe who informed me that I served at the pleasure while trying to remove me without cause- I let them know decisively that serving at the pleasure was not a one way street.

Right when someone else went out on FMLA and they were down to 30% staffing.

See you, sucker!

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The way I’ve seen HR teams dance around this is by using “eligible for rehire”. It goes something like this: prospective employer calls former employer to check references. Former employer confirms that yes, candidate did work for us from this date to that date. Prospective employer then asks “is candidate eligible for rehire?” The response tells them everything they need to know.

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I’m not sure what you mean by that…?

To my knowledge, (in the U.S.) you can’t draw unemployment benefits if you voluntarily quit (which I think this discussion of giving two weeks’ notice is about) or are fired for cause. Only if you lose your job through no fault of your own.

(What knowledge I have comes from being laid off twice—once due to the Great Recession, and once due to my employer moving his business to a different state—and I drew unemployment benefits both of those times.)

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right, so in theory, businesses don’t have to give you notice when you’re fired because unemployment insurance is supposed to cover the suddenly lost wages

( even if it doesn’t really work that well in practice )

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Oh, now I see what you mean, thanks!

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When I worked at Walmart, if you left without giving 2 weeks notice, it rendered you ineligible for rehire. I assume they still do this. I quit Walmart after working there about 18 months. I did not give notice of any kind. I just clocked out and went home one day and never went back. I suppose because of this, if someone did a deep dive background check, Walmart would probably tell them they fired me. Anyway, I have not lost one second of sleep over the fact that I am not eligible to be rehired at Walmart.

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I thought so, too!

Exactly.

This is why verification that a resume is accurate comes from HR departments and college administration, but references tend to come from former colleagues and peers.

Too true, contract work taught me to always be prepared to walk.

My usual words when leaving an IT gig were, “For two weeks, notice I’m not here.” :nerd_face::woman_shrugging:t4:

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Every time I hear about US employment laws, I’m glad I never moved there.

Here in Oz, anywhere you have to give notice [1], your employer also typically has to match the notice period or pay you the difference (e.g. “go home, here’s three weeks pay”). It’s a mutual thing.

[1] There are jobs that don’t require notice - seasonal workers, casual workers, etc.

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Similar here in Australia as well. 4 weeks notice is the norm for most employees. The higher up the chain you go, the more notice is required (e.g where I am working, I have to give 4 weeks notice, the General Manager has to give 12 and the CEO has to give 52).

Same applies if they want you to leave “Right Now!!!” they have to pay out the notice period at a bare minimum (plus any entitlements like annual leave owing, etc).

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Coca Cola Coke GIF by Coca-Cola Oficial

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Here is D’Shonda resigning from her last job:

“Uh, yeah Boss, my last day will be in…”

image

:: mannequin explodes ::

D’Shonda (from a safe distance) : “Mwahahahahahaha!”

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2 weeks notice, I have to give a month, and i know most people i know work in jobs that require a months notice, but then that is the UK and local gov type jobs, but if i was made redundant i would get 3 months pay, as i have been here for longer than 2 years and a weeks pay for every year i have been here, over 20 so would walk away with 6 months pay.

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Sometimes it’s good companies that get taken over by a new CEO who’s a dick @Penforhire. I once got laid off by a great Not For Profit company (College) but when the former President and CEO retired I got laid off via a phone call while I was on vacation. It’s like the old saying: A new broom sweeps clean.

BOT: Womansplainers are better at it than Mansplainers.

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Deep down it’s the Leberkäs’ from Vinzenzmurr, isn’t it.