Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/12/24/ai-judges-how-bad-is-your-spotify.html
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Is being basic good or bad? I am so lame.
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First of all that’s my band you horse’s ass 
(actually, listening to the auto-generated radio station for my own band gives me loads of new music I really like. Who’da thunk it?)
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It’s “bad”! Though I’ve struggled with ingesting that derogatory meaning because in my neck of the woods of science and tech journalism, keeping things basic is a treasured goal …
> Your spotify was dads-still-cool-punk-with-grandchildren bad.
> Thank your obsessions with Queen and The Jam for that.
> Unfortunately that’s not all I learned:
You listen to these tracks too much:
Orgone Accumulator - 2007 Remaster by Hawkwind City Streets - Re-Style Hard 180 Mix by Charly Lownoise RTC is the legacy by Rotterdam Terror Corps Jesus Built My Hotrod by Ministry Rise Up by Andy the CoreYou stan these artists to an uncomfortable extent:
Queen Scott Brown Re-Style Paul Elstak Dr. PeacockYou are 2% basic. Oh wow The Scotchman and Ultimate Buzz! Your taste is so obscure that’s so cool I bet you’re super interesting…
You’re too trendy for your own good. You only listen to music made in the last year like Hate Me by Re-Style and It’s A Dream 2K19 by Dr. Peacock.
I’m not sure why it thinks I’m obsessed with Queen.
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Hah, joke’s on them, I’m still on Pandora!
Where all my playlists trend inexorably toward Queen, Prince, or Johnny Cash, no matter how hard I try not to be that guy.
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I had to look up nag champa. It asked me if I listened to Spiegel Im Spiegel for real or ironically. It seemed confused or hesitant when I said for real.
Your spotify was ken-burns-jazz-open-mic-night-nag-champa bad.
Thank your obsessions with Miles Davis, comedy (e.g., George Carlin and Kathleen Madigan), and Grateful Dead for that.
Based on your listening habits, I can also tell you your spotify was…
maximally-pretentious-minimalism bad
weeping-in-your-bourbon bad
Unfortunately that’s not all I learned:
You listen to these tracks too much:
- Angel Band by Smokey River Boys
- Spiegel im spiegel by Arvo Pärt
- Spiegel im Spiegel - Version for Cello and Piano by Arvo Pärt
- Angel Band by The Stanley Brothers
- Prologue “Jelly’s Last Jam” by Jelly Roll Morton
You stan these artists to an uncomfortable extent:
- James Booker
- Dr. John
- Otis Spann
- Mike Bloomfield
- Barrelhouse Chuck
You are 0% basic. Oh wow The Sufi Choir and John-Roger, DSS! Your taste is so obscure that’s so cool I bet you’re super interesting…
You’re stuck in the early 2010s. You only listen to Obama-era jams like Pinkish Brown Noise Baby Sleep (Loopable Relaxing Noise) by Brown Noise Baby and Rockin’ Pneumonia & The Boogie Woogie Flu (Live, Maida Studio 1978) by James Booker.
Jokes on all of you, I’m on neither!
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I got “You’ve been listening to a lot of Daniel Kahn. Are you okay?”
And I’m like, where have you been for the past year?
But zero percent basic, for whatever that’s worth.
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This thing’s trying to sass me by saying I’m Gen-Z and I peaked in the 2010s. I peaked in the 90s, you shortpants wearing dumbass. The early 90s.
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Your spotify was love-your-npr-tote-craft-beer-snob bad.
Thank your obsessions with Grimes and stomp and holler for that.
Based on your listening habits, I can also tell you your spotify was…
escape-room bad
please-read-my-manuscript bad
But wait, it gets worse:
You listen to these tracks too much:
Barefoot In The Park by James Blake
Una by Murcof
Feel It All Around by Washed Out
Hanging On by Active Child
Exit Woundz by Burial
You stan these artists to an uncomfortable extent:
Baths
Julien Marchal
Flume
Chet Faker
SOHN
You are 0% basic. Lukid and Ametsub? Where do you even find this shit?.
You’re stuck in the early 2010s. You must have peaked right around oOoOO’s oOoOO.
Well, that was really something.
Thanks for letting me see your music I guess.
Shutting down.
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