An amazingly well-preserved four-wheeled processional chariot unearthed in Pompeii

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Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2021/03/01/an-amazingly-well-preserved-four-wheeled-processional-chariot-unearthed-in-pompeii.html

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Y’all buried the lede: the chariot was festooned with porn

If I am reading this correctly (?? not an expert - feel free to jump in): male lovers on the left, male-female on the right? Too bad the central one isn’t legible pic.twitter.com/eA0WA2b5Yh

— Dr Hannah Čulík-Baird (@opietasanimi) February 27, 2021
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Just needs a little elbow grease, and it’ll be road-ready in no time!

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First, pay off all those ancient Roman parking tickets.

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So that’s where I parked it…

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More like elbow gel the household explosive. Opens sticky windows and can blast the volcanic ash outta your chariot.

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Ran When Parked.

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“Processional chariot” reads like “parade float” to me. I would not be surprised if it was used for holiday parades.

Pimp my ride.

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First time visiting Ancient Rome, friend? If it weren’t festooned with porn, then that would be a lede.

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They actually found it by the muffled sound of the chariot alarm going off in the middle of the night.

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That would be the logical place for the arrangement known informally as a “Love Panini”.

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“They’ll be able to buff this out, no problem.”

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Bring A Tralatio.

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One of the amulets on the chariots looks like they are wrestling, always with the wrestling. Okay not always with the Romans but…

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sparheceptacus
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I suppose that somewhere down the line of Roman successor states, the legal chain for debts and assets was broken.

“Mr Julian? According to our records, you are the inheritor of debts and payments against the Roman Empire, and we have this claim for aqueduct repair.”
“Hm, let’s see… Oh no no. I’m just Western Roman Empire. For this, you want Eastern Roman Empire, and that’d be Mr Argyros over on 7th Street.”

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Depending on which century, the ERE would be a safer bet for debt collection. (And they love kitties, too.)

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