An Epstein tell-all, a vengeful Queen wannabe, and Harry & Meghan’s final insult, in this week’s dubious tabloids

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/02/22/an-epstein-tell-all-a-vengefu.html

There’s often a logical disconnect between stories and the world they purport to represent in the tabloids, and this week’s offerings are no exception.

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You posted as yourself @beschizza

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Suddenly this whole thing makes sense. Oh you gif.

tumblr_79bb893a7efed115f78b9b7893a4bd67_53cccfdc_640

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I’m always curious about the relationship that exists between BB, the author of these posts, and the intended audience relationship. Is there some odd tabloid sub-sponsor? I just don’t get it.

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Original Tudors
Remind your family that they’re nothing but usurpers on the English throne by reclaiming and relaunching the long-defunct brand of Henry VIII.

https://europauniversalis.fandom.com/wiki/England_(Europa_Universalis_II)

The following Stuarts are dormant by default, as they never ruled England. They are activated if England chooses the second option (Chastize King James) in the Parliamentary version of The Glorious Revolution on 15th February 1688, or chooses either option in the Royalist version of The Glorious Revolution on 15th February 1688.

They are also be activated by the second option (The Stuarts take back the throne!) of either Jacobite Rebellion event (which happen on 1st January 1715 and 1st January 1745).

Name Reigns from Diplomacy Administration Military
Charles III 1 Jan 1766 3 3 5
Henry IX 1 Jan 1788 6 8 7
Edgar Francis I * 13 Jul 1807 8 6 8

Looks like a pair of powerful monarchs, if you can survive Charles III. Archie can always choose a different regnal name.

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Hear, hear. This seems to be the last blog where celebrity tittle-tattle should have a place. Someone at BB strangely seems to think otherwise. I applaud the inclusiveness, but look forward to the day I don’t have to scroll past uninteresting “news” about vapid celebs I don’t care about at all.

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Hmm… I’ll suggest:

Us ex-Royals

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It’s fairly easy to just refer to the first post in the series.

[My friend Peter Sheridan is a Los Angeles-based correspondent for British national newspapers. He has covered revolutions, civil wars, riots, wildfires, and Hollywood celebrity misdeeds for longer than he cares to remember. As part of his job, he must read all the weekly tabloids. For the past couple of years, he’s been posting terrific weekly tabloid recaps on Facebook and has graciously given us permission to run them on Boing Boing. Enjoy! - Mark]

Personally I like the idea. You can learn quite a bit looking at what the tabloids cover, and understanding who they’re targeted at. I don’t think the execution doesn’t quite get at that though, as the idea is more have fun with it so Pete doesn’t lose his mind. So I just end up missing the Weekly World News.

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Could not agree more.
Our understanding of genuinely fake news (tabloids being the original) and it’s pervasive/dangerous influence in the world has evolved significantly since these posts began. To give these sources of disinformation any oxygen seems naive at best, and out of place in the otherwise ‘woke’ nature of the rest of BB.

In the very least, it would be fantastic if someone would sit down with Peter and show him how to submit his posts so that they do not spew his entire post contents into the blog feed.

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^^ THIS THIS THIS ^^

These posts are valueless and annoying at best. Put them behind a cut at a bare minimum, but really, let’s just retire them.

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this series does a service to no one. wait, i take that back; it serves to make me wish someone still gave a shit about what this site was and what it meant to so many.

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This series provides readers who should know better than to click on something they are not interested in with an opportunity to vent their self-inflicted frustrations in the comments at no extra cost.

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In blog view, this is inevitably 2-3 pages of scrolling past useless counterfactual content. Between this and the BoingBoing Shop ads, which are also never behind a cut, there’s less and less actual content and more and more filler.

Put it behind a cut and it’d be easy to skip past, and fewer people would bother complaining about it.

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