Apps to help free you from addiction to apps


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There’s an app for that!


I find the key is to notice how gross and lame it is when I interact with social media, and thus recognise that everyone else’s social media posts are simply the distillation of their gross lameness. That makes it much easier to avoid the ridiculous delusion that I’m under social pressure to look at Facebook or Twitter.

It’s like, just because I sort of enjoy farting, I’m not obliged to go round huffing everyone else’s farts. It’s not always rude or aloof to avoid certain types of interaction.


90% of the time when I’m taking out my phone in public, it’s because my books are on it and I have a moment to get some reading in instead of watching hairless apes shamble about me on their own little quests. Yes, physical books are more tangibly satisfying. But books on my phone have three major benefits. Easy to carry a whole library. Easier to blend in to the background. I get to ignore the hairless apes (also helped by the headphones).

I don’t look at my phone when I’m walking, talking or eating with someone, unless it’s to show them something.



I am currently seeing a hypnotist to cure me of my compulsion to visit hypnotists.




Look into my eyes, look into the eyes, the eyes, the eyes, not around the eyes, don’t look around the eyes, look into my eyes… (clicks) you’re under, DO NOT SEE HYPNOTISTS, 3, 2, 1, you’re back in the room.


Heroin will free you from your addition to morphine!

From Wikipedia:

In 1895, the German drug company Bayer marketed diacetylmorphine as an over-the-counter drug under the trademark name Heroin. It was developed chiefly as a morphine substitute for cough suppressants that did not have morphine’s addictive side-effects. Morphine at the time was a popular recreational drug, and Bayer wished to find a similar but non-addictive substitute to market. However, contrary to Bayer’s advertising as a “non-addictive morphine substitute,” heroin would soon have one of the highest rates of addiction among its users.


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