Astronauts debate provenance of turd floating in Apollo 10


oh shit!

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This is about the best thing I’ve seen all day :slight_smile:

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Dangit! Haven’t you learned to pee (or poop) before you go yet?

My god, it’s full of…


Notify Orson Welles and Joseph Cotten. Obviously, it must’ve been The Turd Man.

Geno found another one later on. What a horrible suspense-filled moment re-entry must have been with the realization that if there was a third floater it was now going to find them.

Cernan: “Here’s another goddam turd. What’s the matter with you guys? Here, give me a --”
(laughter from Young and Stafford)
Stafford: “It was just floating around?”
Cernan: “Yes.”
Stafford (laughing): “Mine was stickier than that.”
Young: “Mine was too. It hit that bag --”
Cernan: “I don’t know whose that is. I can neither claim it nor disclaim it (laughter).”
Young: “What the hell is going on here?”

That said, the Apollo Fecal Collection bags were, well, horrifying. Those with sensitive stomachs should skip this. You basically taped a plastic bag to your buttocks. Then reached up into a plastic finger sleeve to ensure “separation” and then had to put a chemical compound in, seal the bag and then “[t]he bag was kneaded to rupture the inner pouch and mix the germicide with the wastes.”

So for Apollo 10 to go through all of that and only end up orbiting the moon at 60 miles and not actually landing, Cernan, Young, and Stafford are to be commended for their dedication to poop in bags for a week.


Sangfroid in action

– James Ph. Kotsybar

Alone, I take a flight to see some friends,
I gaze out over ocean from the clouds
and marvel, as the plane I’m in ascends
with all of us above the earthly crowds.

From gravity itself we’ve all been freed.
Like Shakespeare said, how like a god our sense,
and what a piece of work we are, indeed,
but then, as if to offset opulence,
behind, I hear what loosens my aplomb.
One youngster, in attempt to appertain
the wonder of flight, loudly asks his mom,
“When you flush, does it go out of the plane?”

We’re noble – heaven’s stars produced our birth –
yet humbled, since we’re formed from dust and Earth.

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It kind of makes you glad there were no camera phones and Flickr feeds back then, right?

Take a browse through the whole PDF. They rarely give any context for the statements they make, so you can easily read the entire 500 page transcript as if they’re dealing with a rogue turd.


“God Almighty”.

A clear reference to a religious belief and/or tradition by a government employee on government property. THIS SHALL NOT STAND.

Why the blank was this classified? Seems to go against all the rules I learned for requiring something be classified even at the (rarely used these days) “confidential” level.

The discussion got even more heated when the shit hit the fan.

Well, imagine it’s 1968 and we’re still battling the Commies to get to the moon first. And only one country has sent actual men behind the actual moon who have then transmitted information about the moon back.

You seriously don’t think the 1968 version of the NSA is going to stamp that transcript classified to keep it from THEM COMMIES?

You really don’t want to hear about Aldrin’s tiny communion set he used on the moon then. Not to mention Mitchell’s ESP experiments…

It seems to me that the CMP was pretty quick to jump to denial. As they say, “he who denied it, supplied it”.

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It must be in here somewhere.


“Astronauts debate provenance…”

Oh, god, this was the funniest thing I’ve read all week.