Awesomely terribly wonderful knockoff toys

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Thomas attacks! Aaahhh!

Hmmmm Spook Chaser? Based on what I learned in social studies in school, I would have expected the Spook Chaser to have a pointy hat and a flaming cross. But that’s just me…

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They had me at Spader-Man, who I believe became popular in the late '80’s and early '90’s with several film roles before moving to television.

What really got me, though, was the list of ingredients for Superman imitation pasteurized process cheese spread. It contains “Skim Milk Cheese for Manufacturing Water”.

Even without Superman’s help skim milk cheese has been known to cause me to manufacture water.

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This looks like a job for Specialman!

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I suspect that Russian Yoda might be genuine. Звездные войны is the Russian title for Star Wars. That it’s such a terrible figurine anyway is somehow a little extra wonderful to this fan of Soviet kitsch.

The fins on the back point to this being a Voltron homage, which AFAIK pre-dates the Constructicons/Devastator by a few years. The trains all being different colors is an obvious nod to this as well (red lion, blue lion, etc…).

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