I love throwing shindigs for my supervillain friends aboard my zeppelin fortress, but I’m reconsidering now since eventually Horst Klawfoote drinks too much hard lemonade and decides it would be hilarious to heave the ice sculpture overboard. Soon the world will be very familiar with my Diabolical League of Malcontents, but I intend our introduction to be much more paralyzing than an errant blowfish sculpture crashing through someone’s rec room.
To: Amazon Prime Air Project Team
Dear AmazoMinions (Ha! I never get tired of that)-
Congratulations on the first successful test of our new Amazon Prime Air IceNOW program! I’m thrilled that we’ve reached this milestone, and this will be an exciting, convenient option for our customers. A few points:
1). While the delivery arrived within the allotted time, the customer has provided negative feedback about the packaging. Let’s rethink the whole “bare chunk of ice” thing. I also understand there was no packing slip.
2). There are inherent difficulties in safely flying our quads at low altitudes. I would suggest, however, that we explore releasing the package below 10,000 feet.
3). While logged into the customer’s account this morning, I noticed the “Frequently bought together” section included the Pelican ProGear 80 Quart Ice Chest, but did NOT include a first aid kit, roofing nails, or a tarp. C’mon, guys! This is blocking and tackling!
Anyway, keep up the good work, and I suggest you stay in touch with the Amazon Air AnvilsNOW team - I believe there are commonalities that would benefit from collaboration.
Reminded of a Spider Robinson groaner here (I’ll just post the punchline): “It just goes to show the dangers of the Cold War. No matter where you live, you can get hit by an icy BM”
Bad Horse is not impressed.
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