We need to understand the evolutionary perspective on this…
Why did our branch of the homo family survived and Neanderthals et al disappear ?
Why do we only ever see Zombie Homo Sapiens ? No zombie dogs, not even zombie penguins ?
These two facts must be linked and Occams razor makes us choose the path that humans evolved Zombieness in order to deal with a particular environment and our Zombie bretheren took out competing forms of humans.
In evolutionary terms Zombiehood offers many advantages, most forms of fighting competitors and predators means that some of your own gene pool gets damaged or killed, but by recylicing homo sapien corpses, we can could fight predators and competing types of human.
In this we see a parallel between sickle cell anaemia and zombieness.
Both are responses to a hosilte environment that unfortunately exact a price for the benefits they give us in terms of protection.
Like sickle cell, zombiness seems to have evolved in a hot location, most instance of zombies are to be found in the southern states of the USA, Africa, etc, we *never see zombies in Norway or Russia. Which I think proves my point here. Where are the Inuit Zombies ?
Like sickle cell, there must be a genetic factor and also we observe that like most zombies are men, implying that it is a recessive gene that women carry but may not be affected by. This makes sense since in the stone age when zombies first evolved, brute strength would have been more useful.
This of course leads us to feminist zombies, since of course it is a woman’s right to choose for her body to become a zombie and modern medicine allows women to be free of patriachal biological constraints to take theiur full pplace in society and we know that as the number of women zombies (please not girl zombies), increases, we can expect them to become more creative and less violent.
The question of funding thus arises and there are two ovious choices, a Kickstarter project to develop the technology and the US military. Zombie soldiers would have several advantages beyond their unstaible desire for carnage.
Firstly political: there would be far fewer body bags coming home from foreign wars.
Second, the vast majority of service personnel don’t actually kill the enemy, for every front line soldier, sailor or airman there are many supporting them, moving and repairing equipment, shipping supplies, etc. Zombies don’t use weapons, they are weapons and thus the logistical tail for a zombie assualt force is not only vastly lower and cheaper ,it is alomst impossible for an adversary to sabotage. Zombies do not even need food, they can eat enemy troops.
Third, no one care about the fate zombies, so if they are taken hostage, no leverage is gained and of course zombies don’t surrender anyway.
Fourth, the majority of combat for the US forces at present is amongst moslem populations. The consensus amongst Imams is that the undead are about as unclean as it is possible to imagine and thus any contact with them will be anathema, maming their deployment more of a deterrent.
So we now understabd why nearly all reports of zombie are in the continental USA, the biosecurity of US research facilities is not what it should be and thus the NSA has for many years engaged in a programme of disinformation to engender the belief that “zombies aren’t real” by secretly funding films and TV that undermine the credibility of anyone who has seen a zombie.
Dominic Connor
