Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/11/23/brand-new-luggage-comes-with-a-pre-damaged-look.html
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The best part of buying a used car with a couple of blemishes is not having that dread of the first ding.
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Excuse me, is this a joke?!
– Nigel Tufnel
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Privilege alert
The first thing Cece Lefferts, the AV lady at my high school, would do when she got a new piece of equipment was to completely deface it and make it look old and falling apart. She figured people might be tempted to steal it otherwise.
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Its a bit like spraying artificial rust on your brand new cardboard mountain bike frame.
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Version with Phil Hatrman’s voice
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thx! 
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Or driving a rusty old Chevette? 
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I feel like I could go to Goodwill and buy some luggage in better shape for a whole lot less.
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Chevette wasn’t rusty, at least, not when she was working.
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Sorry. No can do. I have been thoroughly conditioned to look at only one at a time. I can only look at it.
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From the point of view of security, any tsa-approved lock is pre-damaged.
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But they look so ■■■■■!
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My sister use to fly as part of her job as an auditor for a large company. Her go to luggage was an ugly bright pink suitcase marked with tape and other signs of artificial distress which made it both easy to see on the luggage carousel and less likely to be stolen.
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Not quite as stupid as “relic” guitars, but close.
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I’m so old I’m still getting used to the idea of selling pre-distressed jeans.
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Me: “Yes, I’d like to return this luggage that I just purchased.”
Salesperson: “Is something wrong with it?”
Me: “Yes, it doesn’t have enough cosmetic defects.”
