CERN scientists release 300 terabytes of Large Hadron Collider data, free and open

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I really want three pages in the middle to be redacted.

“Hey, what’s this subatomic particle?”
“NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, CITIZEN.”

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So is that CSV, DOCX, oooorrrrr…

Here, everyone. 300 TB. Why don’t YOU find the God____ particle?

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Doing the math, I only get ~18 years. No time at all!

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I got it even more wrong than I thought. 300E12 bytes - my connection is about 10Mbytes/s, that’s 30 million seconds or a mere year. It’s just as well I’m retired, I can’t do simple arithmetic any more.

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Atoms are fiction, people! This is yet another attempt to fool the public! Boingboing’s in the pocket of Big Small Particle!

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Derp. I forgot to divide by the number of hours in a day. You’re right. Bloody simple arithmetic.

Aside from the fact that “inverse femtobarns” is now my favorite term, I do wonder what basement-conspiracy-data-analysis subcultures might emerge around this.

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the inverse femtobarn is the coolest unit in the known universe, and we should be using it a lot more. As it’s used for the number of events per femtobarn of cross section over a period, it can be used to make almost any activity look extremely safe.
For instance, this year we’ve had two incidents of parents being shot and killed by two year olds. Sounds bad? But it’s only 1.4 times 10 to the power -57 (1.4*10-57) inverse femotbarns, which is nothing at all to worry about.

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Surely you know the familiar expression that looking for a needle in a haystack is like searching for a Higgs force carrier in three hundred terabytes of data?

Certainly you won’t find many of them in the middle of an LHC collision.

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Time to glean the African-Kemetic secrets locked within the god particle data that will unlock the secrets of Jesus’ association with the Sun!

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Hmm. I’m curious to see what this data looks like but I’d rather not have to delete my porn collection to make room for it

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Just so. The 5% act like they’re all that matters. The other 95% (dark matter and dark energy) are nowhere to be seen.)

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