Chirpss: a bookmarklet that makes your website chirp whenever anyone visits or leaves


#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/03/19/chirpss-a-bookmarklet-that-ma.html


#2

giphy%20(46)


#3

Trying to imagine what it would sound like installed on a site like BB and it would probably just be a sawtooth buzz noise from the first few bytes of the sample being retriggered every few milliseconds.

Or if it plays them multichannel, the same thing four octaves higher.


#4

Considering that anytime a website makes any spontaneous sound at all, I lunge for either the volume controls, the back button, or (if I want to be able to visit the site again) the adblock settings so I can find the offending wav file and block it forever…

No. Nope. Not interested. No thanks.

What’s next, someone bringing back the fucking [blink] tag?


#5

Back in the day, I did an app that would watch the firewall logs and play a sound depending on which port was tried. I could always tell when a new Code Red worm was spreading, or someone was testing their primitive botnet. Fun, but the most used feature of the program was the mute button.


#6

It uploads all your files to the Russian Mafia. Then it makes a cute sound!


#7

What does it mean to “leave” a web site? Does switching to a different tab or window count?

What if the user loads a page, then (1) switches to a different tab, then (2) switches from the browser to a different app, then (3) puts their computer to sleep, then (4) unplugs it? I’d call only 3 or 4 “leaving”. But can (even super-creepy) Google tell when that happens, if the browser is backgrounded and the tab is unselected? Is code on the unchosen page of an inactive browser still sending heartbeats to its Alphabetical overlords?


#8

Like a downhill bound “mechanical bike bell from hell” :wink:


#9

Nope.  


#10

Every time a user leaves a website, an angels gets its wings:

Something like that.


#11

I can imagine the loneliest guy in the world sitting waiting for someone to visit his site, and when they leave…


#12

have to have Google Analytics installed

Fuck that noise.


#13

Have it going. It’s a bit jarring. One more distraction.


#14

A hail the return of <Marquee>


#15

Extratone?


#16

Blinking marquee, in rainbow colours, with a MIDI soundtrack looping in the background. And animated GIFs, lots of animated GIFs.


#17


#18

… like Homer Simpson’s first website …

(S12-E06)


#19

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