CIA torturers forced hummus, raisins, pasta and nuts into detainees' anuses

[Permalink]

What were they trying to find, the terrorist secrets of Whole Foods?

Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

4 Likes

What? I don’t even know where to begin. But clearly the CIA thought to start with anuses. So… yeah.

2 Likes

Looks like Jean des Essientes finally got someone to listen to his nutty nutritional regimen. Too bad his audience were torturers and thugs.

2 Likes

Aren’t they used to pulling intel out of theirs?

10 Likes

At this point it doesn’t matter how our servants tortured people. The problem is that they tortured.

15 Likes

I learned only relatively recently that the staff of the CIA are not called “agents”. A CIA agent is somebody who isn’t part of the CIA, and typically is not an American, but carries out tasks on its behalf, usually for money.

So the child in our hypothetical story would be hoping he doesn’t grow up to be a CIA officer.

2 Likes

He would have used more yogurt.

I think publicizing how they were tortured is relevant in order to avoid claims of enhanced interrogation and other nonsense. I could see it used as an anti-derailing tactic, if you will.

15 Likes

All these things we keep learning about our government, and yet we persist in calling it a democracy. It sometimes seems like Stockholm syndrome on a national scale.

16 Likes

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

(Body is invalid; try to be a little more descriptive)lol!

4 Likes

1 Like

How about the US government implements a “Don’t Be Evil Jar”? Every time the CIA does something unspeakably horrible, it has to put one billion dollars into the jar. Proceeds go toward undoing the decades worth of damage by American intelligence to the economy and infrastructure of foreign nations .

9 Likes

Didn’t the CIA’s mother ever tell them there are starving children in Africa?

Perhaps the FDA is trying to kill two birds with one stone by testing if this can fix Crohn’s disease.

1 Like

Any chance these were macadamia nuts?

Do you think while they were doing this, the officers were thinking, “Yeah, I’m one of the good guys?”

Or were they just amped up on a cruelty high?

5 Likes

I’m sure Chimpey the Decider and Dick Cheney got a boner when they heard about this. At the end of the day does it matter what anybody in the world thinks about the United States as long as the President and Vice President get wood?

3 Likes

I’ve heard that Guckert’s sleepovers at the White House entailed him jerking off Chimpy and Dick while he read them CIA reports. That’s what I heard.

There once was a time when I would have said this is unthinkable…once but no longer. Bush/cheney outdid Bin Laden hands down in the harm done to this country. What a bunch of sick fucks.

8 Likes

Was the hummus just to be racist? Did they jam other Middle-Eastern stereotypical foods into them too?

3 Likes