It’s also not lost on me at how effective a shit stirrer it was that the original thread is ALSO getting relitigated here.
8 Likes
Maybe, but it’s a recent example of the some of the issues we’d like to highlight. I’d love to not have to spend mental and emotional labor on it, but sadly, if I’d like to be a human being that interacts with other human beings, I have to address things like this… 
7 Likes
I don’t know the users’ intent. I have had all kinds of people in my life say all kinds of things. I have been wrong, I have both believed wrong things, and expressed myself poorly before also… plenty.
But I think your post illustrates how being disruptive, intentionally or otherwise, can be used to alienate people from their communities.
Almost immediately people have showed up that if they are honest with themselves just want to hurt some one they don’t like… on this message board.
Hate really attracts hate like enough to feel supernatural at times. And people really are custom crafting meme-grenades to disrupt communities and cranking it out. And everyone has grievances.
“We do it to ourselves, it’s true… that’s what really hurts!!!”
8 Likes
It would be nice to just be able to ignore slings and arrows, but when they are coming at you so hard and so fast that you’re unable to engage in any other activities, then you have to do something about it…
7 Likes
I didn’t want I @ you earlier and drag you into a discussion involuntarily, but I do want to say that I saw your genuine attempts to understand what the OP’s intent was and offer that you may have at points misunderstood their intent. I still think their posts were, probably unintentionally, mischaracterized and they then became an avatar for people’s frustrations as discussed above. I know personally that that poster felt harangued and bullied in that thread and that many assumptions here about their person/level of privilege are just wrong. That’s really what set this whole thing off and I did want to acknowledge that you (and others) were clearly trying to make an honest attempt to hear them as they intended. Most of the time that’s all that’s being asked.
3 Likes
There is their feelings and the reality, though. Is disagreement with a point really “bullying” just because someone says it is? The reality is that we’ll all probably make points that the majority does not agree with. It happens to all of us. If we can’t express disagreement, then there is literally no point to a discussion board, yeah?
9 Likes
I had no impression of their status or privilege. I know nothing about them. I responded to their words. And their lack of any support for their words.
You are ascribing motives to others and knowledge of people’s interior lives while saying that others are doing the same.
8 Likes
Ok sure but I should be able to say that I think a narrative is probably a destructive rumor to a person without getting flagged for it though.
I should also be able to say it here without it being seen as making some one a victim.
When you say that it feels to me like you disrespect my position and have made so little effort to engage with it so much that you cannot see me as anything but a bully taking out my frustrations on an avatar, that is literally an unfair mischaracterization of ME.
It’s an unfair characterization of that thread.
That’s my position. I think I’m right, both in terms of whom the Obama speculation serves independent of who tells it and in terms of how that thread became a total shitshow where no productive discourse could be had ever again.
FWIW I agree some leeway might have made it a more soft experience because it was a pointed read after a bit, but to me that is nuance.
8 Likes
It just seems like some people are construing disagreement with bullying here…
All that.
9 Likes
Some posts have been deleted.
Now all that remains are the shadows in the distorted minds of the witnesses.
10 Likes
Perhaps that’s what’s happening in a lot of these cases that we’re talking about…
1 Like
Honestly I think a lot of things are happening a lot of different times.
Like a lot of us have a negative experience or two in mind I’m sure.
The danger of making assumptions based on what we see left of a thread is always that we don’t know what we don’t know though.
9 Likes
They did not do anything “wrong”, we merely disagree with them. If my attempt to gain clarity is out of line, then flag it and let the mods deal with it… it seems to me that we need to go back the @chenille’s response to @tcg550, where chenille noted that this “twisting” was an example of what people were upset about, and they happened to mention the specific example of animated gifs being a tool of bullying, which tcg said they did not mean. With regards to the idea that people’s comments are twisted, @orenwolf believe it was inaccurate assessment… that tcg did not mean specifically gifs was acknowledged SEVERAL times… I in fact noted that
@chenille is responding to the general idea that animated gifs with an eyeroll is some kind of bullying, which you generally seem to agree with as a point.
If @tcg550 does not agree with the general point about “bullying” rather than the specific gif issue, then fine, but that’s the larger point being tackled here… The specific point seems the only part that matters, though…
And here in lies the problem.
I never said any such thing or agreed or disagreed with it.
I never spoke about animated gifs.
But again, there is a general point that is never acknowledged that they DO seem to agree with (that there is some sort of group of mean girls that are somehow getting people banned, despite not having the power to do so. We’re not people, but a shadowy cabal apparently…
In fact when I specifcally ASKED for clarification, I got accused of putting words into someone else’s mouth… they NEVER told me what they believed…
And yet another example of attempting to put words into a posters post.
And then, @Melizmatic got flagged into oblivion and edited her comment as a result, not for an insult or being off-topic, but for being HONEST about how she felt and acknowledging that we don’t need to all get along or agree. I will point out that I have not been flagging posters that I disagree with here. I’ve been reading and attempting to engage them in good faith. Yet, that’s apparently NOT good enough.
This is REALLY fucking UNFAIR characterization of that post. She’s been here engaging in good faith the whole time. We’re NOT meant to have real human emotions, including frustration at NOT being listened to and really heard?
If they were being mischaracterized, they might want to be clear about their own views here, rather than just referring to the OP? I’m unsure why that is unreasonable to ask? Unless, I’m just meant to instinctively know their meaning…
4 Likes
I feel this is a good time to mention that I particularly appreciate @Melizmatic and @anon61221983 because they take the heat and keep responding, whereas I know I’m in the majority that steps back and stops responding because it’s just too damned painful.
Instead of noticing who speaks up, maybe it’s time to notice how many people stop responding in a thread. Forcing people to feel that they have to keep silent because they don’t want to have to fight to be allowed to speak is a real problem. One might even call it bullying.
12 Likes
This really makes me sad. This thread had me bummed out all day, and @Melizmatic’s post was what turned it around for me and gave me some hope. I was really grateful for it.
11 Likes
Is it? Explain to me like I’m a 5 year old how that is so?
8 Likes
It certainly highlights who’s being flagged and who isn’t; especially in this thread. And that the flags weren’t upheld by the moderator. Maybe those who’s flags aren’t being upheld should have a sidebar with the moderator to see what they’re not understanding about the forum and their interactions here?
7 Likes
I completely agreed with her point. That user had been disrupting the discussion and making it all about themselves rather than the community.
6 Likes
In this specific thread or in general?
1 Like
Did they? I think she was referring to their specific comments, yeah?
Are they?
Why do you think that might be so?
7 Likes
