Shades of “The Aristocrats” …
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The Wedding Squatters
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Dammit.
This is one of those stories that is so fucking ignorant, that upon hearing it, I immediately thought to myself;
“Please don’t let them be Black.”
Sadly, that wish went unfulfilled; and now I feel an unwanted sense of fremdscham; embarrassment by proxy.
Because when White people do dumbass, audacious shit, it doesn’t reflect negatively on all White folks.
But thanks to systemic racism, when Black people do dumbass, audacious shit, it inherently makes us ALL “look bad” in some bigots’ eyes.
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Because he has bad taste in property, or because he is someone who can afford a big house?
The owner’s father apparently was an early IHOP franchisee, so the source of the money is reasonably wholesome, unless you believe that buckwheat pancakes are Satan’s doing.
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I Didn’t read the article, I just looked at the realtor listing. That property is gorgeous. The owner should rent it out for weddings or something.
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Real talk; aside from the staggering audacity and stupidity of the couple in question, this story still ended far better than it could have, considering that the police were called, and the trespassers happened to be Black.
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Possibly they’re connected with the Moorish Sovereign Citizens?
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Absolutely true.
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They were incredibly lucky that merely being embarrassed is the only consequence they faced.
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The way they’re speaking sounds like Prosperity Gospel to me, a particularly cynical and twisted little corner of American Evangelicalism. If you pray hard enough, God will make you rich, to distill it down. Or the more twisted flip side, if you are rich, you are in grace, regardless of how you got there.
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Kind of what I was thinking, too. So messed up.
My wife had an employee years ago that wanted a big house with a Jaguar parked outside. Didn’t care if the house was empty or in good repair. Didn’t care if the Jaguar ran. Just needed people to see that she had them. She was also very religious, and a member of a very small church (less than 20 people) that gave a lot of money to its pastor. She would pray before every major decision, and then God would tell her to do the thing she wanted to do.
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This.
It’s one thing if say nosy kids wandered onto vacant property because they’re screwing around.
The fact that someone planned a wedding around this?? That’s utter insanity.
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Real estate listing now marked as “contingent.” Maybe the publicity helped them finally land a buyer!
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Did it say “shirt and shoes required”?
I wasn’t aware it was that kind of wedding
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I once came home, late on a very rainy night, from a month at sea on a fish boat to find an acquaintance had broken into the boat I lived on and made himself comfortable.
It was really pouring outside, west coast November. I allowed his guitar to stay indoors until the next day. He and his other belongings saw my eyes and quickly exited the scene. Another few seconds and they would have exited on the water side of the boat.
20 years later I bumped into him. He was working as a security guard in a costume store. Astoundingly he said hello and wanted to chat as if we were long lost friends. It was a brief interaction.
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No, having to say “Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity” is Satan’s doing.
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To be fair, they’ve apparently been trying to sell the place for a while.
Maybe they inherited, and they’re living there for the time being to save on having to hire security guards. After all, you shouldn’t leave a house like this empty, who knows what kind of person would try and break in? 
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