Crypto lender Celsius files for bankruptcy, still won’t let users withdraw funds

According to the story, withdrawals will remain frozen to avoid a run on the company, so that each account has a chance of receiving a share of the remaining assets instead of “first come, first paid.”

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Once again, crypto offers an accelerated course in why each set of banking regulations are needed.


What funds?



You know that web3 is going swimmingly when a guy who is running a bank-in-all-but-name-and-pesky-regulations unironically wears that shirt to work the crowd.

I assume that he managed an equally straight-faced description of an organization that can just unilaterally freeze all accounts and tell everyone to shove off as ‘decentralized finance’(sorry, ‘defi’, bro).


Banks may not be our friends. However, whatever this Celsius thing is doesn’t seem to be acting like one, either. It’s acting exactly like that nephew who calls you out of the blue, saying he’s in trouble, and is asking to borrow money that you just know he’ll never be able to pay back. And so you feel bad for him and give him some money, which he indeed never pays back.

So Celsius is like … getting scammed by a dysfunctional family member?

so… credit unions then?


The enemy of my enemy is just the enemy of my enemy. If cryptobros were my friends I would call them my friends.

Or building societies.

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ohhh… the freemasons.

they’re a building society :wink:

dollar bill illuminati GIF

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