Cryptocurrency (and related fuckery)

Finally, a crypto investment I can get behind!

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Hmmm…can we do this to the whales hodling $USD?

The ones getting ready for the Dead Cat Bounce.

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Wants the government to step in and keep the junk coins and scammers away from respectable srs bz like Bitcoin. (And probably wants the public to cover his losses.)

Meh. They’re all scammers, and he wants the small timers kept away from his big scam.

Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em, And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so ad infinitum.

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Investors start betting against Bitcoin with short-trade products

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Socialize the risk, privatize the profit. Heads I win, tails you lose.

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DARPA study challenges assumptions about distributed ledger (and Bitcoin) security

US government sponsored research is casting new light on the security of blockchain technology, including the assertion that a subset of a distributed ledger’s participants can gain control over the entire system.

The finding is part of a study [PDF] conducted by IT security researchers at Trail of Bits and commissioned by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency that points to several ways in which the immutability of blockchain – the distributed ledger on which Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies rely – can be called into question.

[…]

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Shocked Patrick Stewart GIF by reactionseditor

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“Bitcoin … returns mainly come from buying low and selling high,” the newspaper said. “In the future, once investors’ confidence collapses or when sovereign countries declare bitcoin illegal, it will return to its original value, which is utterly worthless.”

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Crypto bros convince senators to draft bill (S.4356 - Lummis-Gillibrand Responsible Financial Innovation Act) and seek feedback through GitHub. This goes as well as can be expected.

“Frankly, I’m astonished. The crypto bros need to buy better senators. I’d expect nothing less than 3 yeets and 11 hodls in this kind of proposed legislation.”

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More than $100m in cryptocurrency stolen from blockchain biz

Blockchain venture Harmony offers bridge services for transferring crypto coins across different blockchains, but something has gone badly wrong.

The Horizon Ethereum Bridge, one of the firm’s ostensibly secure bridges, was compromised on Thursday, resulting in the loss of 85,867 ETH tokens optimistically worth more than $100 million, the organization said via Twitter.

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“Blockchain bridges are the latest target and weak point of crypto attackers,” observed Chris Wysopal, a security researcher and CTO of Veracode, via Twitter. “In software security, vulnerabilities often occur in the complexity of two different systems interfacing with each other.”

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No worries. It’s insured by the FDIC.

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That’s a hell of a lot of optimism. Keep clapping!

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