"Debate Me": parody of internet manliness gurus/dorks


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/10/debate-me-parody-of-inter.html


#2

“…It’s the reason I have abstained from all sexual contact–by choice, I assure you. Buddy, my logic lumps are swollen, painful, and ready to unleash sticky ropes of white-hot arguments all over you.”

Ummm … pass. First rule of Debate Club.

lol


#3


#4

That’s one motherfucking manly Jesus! Goddamn.


#5

Brilliant! This is like vintage Onion!


#6

I was going to read the article, but got distracted with a thread called “Do Wizards Poop?”.


#7

Offhand, I’d say yes. They make sure to take a powder before the start of every quest, right?


#8


#9

When I was in high school, I was hugely opinionated about many things. After all, you’re stuck in a group not of your own choosing and you’re also trying to carve your own identity at the same time, often using your choice in pop culture as a prop. But as soon as you grow up… you don’t like the music I like? Don’t like the movies/games/books I like? Don’t like the way I play Diablo? You like different things that I might not like?

¯_(ツ)_/¯

Whatevs. It’s called growing up. If you don’t, “manchild” is the perfect word.


#10

Much like nuclear war, the only way to win is not to play.


#11

From late teens to early thirties you can get a lot of positive attention by challenging everything, everywhere. There is no end to hypocrisy in the world. You can call it all out! There are whole subcultures devoted to it.

Over forty? LOOK over forty? Cranky old people are not so cool.

“Bitter,” that’s another adjective.

Eventually one learns not to assume anybody gives a fuck.


#12

Alas, it’s beginning to seem to me that one can’t even begin to try to raise a legitimate issue anymore without being instantly accused of being an “Internet manliness guru/dork”.

… Um. Please don’t debate me.


#13

I feel like a truly great wizard could find a way to not poop.

But maybe they have more important things to work on so colon mastery gets put off till the last minute?


#14

Read it in Dwight Schrute’s voice. I dare you.


#15

Public discourse is the basis on which democracy exists. Shunning people for practising it with others, no matter the subject, is a recipe for disaster.


#16

I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken.

Any person whose discourse does not honestly include the notion that the above might apply to him/her is not practising it with others.


#17

/starts writing down

New Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition wizard school of magic: Colon Mastery…


#18

Some modified form of a teleport spell springs to mind.


#19

A very small, dedicated Dimension Door?

Or maybe just little Banishment spells. Poop has very low Charisma. Fails all its checks.


#20

Nah. Daisy-chained to a modified Magic Missile spell, you’ve got an amusing new weapon class.