Earth Reviews: the creators of the simulation we all live in are looking for feedback

Originally published at: Earth Reviews: the creators of the simulation we all live in are looking for feedback | Boing Boing

First of all, I got a seriously buggy body. The bones have been overly fragile almost from day 1, my requested gender somehow got ignored or mixed up, and I distinctly remember NOT checking the box for addictions. Why that’s even an option, I have no idea. The other thing I’m pissed off about is the recent March to Fascism patch. Didn’t you already do this one before? Why do we need to run this campaign again? This is bullshit.

30 Likes

Dogs don’t live long enough.

27 Likes

Dogs may be the only thing making this damn game tolerable right now.

20 Likes

Both cats and dogs will eat us when we go but dogs will feel bad about it and that’s all that really matters.

20 Likes

Yeah! And assholes live too damn long.

14 Likes

Supposedly apex species not compatible with its environment.

14 Likes

I want to speak with the manager!

10 Likes

You put the playground right next to and, in half of us, inside of the sewage outflow, which seems sub-optimal. This is not to mention the lack of exit room for unobstructed reproductive outflow, which has resulted in numerous deaths and excessive pain for the other half. I suggest a redesign of the gender/reproductive system, possibly with an ethics committee and an expert in ergodynamics or similar field involved this time.

9 Likes

Can we please remove all the rape, trauma and depression from this simulation? It sucks, especially when it happens to children.

12 Likes

Eating and breathing through the same pipe, when there is room for two? We are full of pipes, and you want to save six inches by using the throat for the esophagus and the trachea.

Why have the nerve cells and the blood vessels on top of the retina instead of behind it? An octopus has a crude eye, but it gets the wiring in the right place. Come to think of it, why does the right eye go to the left brain and vice-versa? Was vision contracted out? ‘Oohh, you mean their left eye, not the eye on the left as we see it. Okay, a bit more optic nerve and we can bodge this.’

6 Likes

McDonald’s endorses this question.
happy ronald mcdonald GIF by McDonald's CZ/SK

1 Like

Please decommission the “maga” subroutine. It’s a resource hog, even though it uses almost no CPU power.

11 Likes

I have to raise some deep reservations about the accuracy of these reviews.

At time of writing printers are at 3 stars; which is absurd to reason and dangerous to faith. What kind of awful review process could rate printers higher than spiders?

8 Likes

The entire random event system is frankly garbage. Far too many of the negative events aren’t just challenges but completely destroy all your progress, especially if you’re not rich. Meanwhile things like meeting the right person or finding a satisfying calling take pretty much full time farming that too many people have no chance for. And these are just the first world problems.

12 Likes

I haven’t yet seen a recursive artifact that menaces with spikes of leather.
And magma is decidedly absent from the majority of everyday life.

5 Likes

Plus, no save feature. Would come in handy during my multitudinous fuckups.

6 Likes

So the floor isn’t really lava? Damn.

5 Likes

Customer support is terrible. Despite repeated attempts to contact support I have only been put on hold with not a single issue resolved. Calls are always dropped

7 Likes

3 Likes