Humanyze. A division of Veridian Dynamics.
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I loved that show.
Darn. I came here to say this.
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Yes, we have a ten dollar fee for ours at work, except… I never agreed to it when I started two decades ago. The last time mine broke I told the HR department to produce the paperwork, give me a new badge or start having security follow me around to open doors when I need into the building or a data center.
I received a fresh, a new badge.
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Someone needs to stick two dozen of those badges up his posterior.
For monitoring purposes.
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A Faraday bag would work, but of course would be noticed by management and reported to HR.
The tech though is just a symptom of the problem, which is the pseudo-kumbaya Silicon Valley Huxleyan dystopia mediocre tapioca-brained technocrats crave to assuage their existential dread of the vacuity of their Fordian depredations. It’s only a matter of time before these fuckers are cajoling their terrified economically precarious workforce into soma-holidays.
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When they detect that you spend too much time on the bathroom, will they recommend a different diet?
Your boss is only pulling in 10:1 salary? Those are rookie numbers.
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That’s weird that they tried to charge for a non-functioning badge. My employer charges for lost badges but that’s only because so many employees would forget their badge in the car but didn’t want to walk all the way out to parking lot to retrieve it so they would just have a new one made instead. As expected, people stopped “losing” their badges once it was announced that they would need to pay for replacements.
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Henry Ford is laughing from his grave.
“Ha ha ha! And you thought requiring workers to wear adult diapers on the assembly line was too harsh?”
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Maybe they’ll try this.
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Exactly what I was going to say. When you do pre-employment paperwork, there will be a sheet of paper saying you are liable for company property.
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Yep, although for some employers the effect will be similar to the Nigerian email scam: if you’re not desperate or greedy or ignorant enough to go along with it, they don’t want you.
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Of course I will wear this badge…
for two weeks…
Not if you knew my employer. They just want to shift the cost of any replacement badges to the employees.
We have badges that are ANCIENT. The pictures on them wear off. They issue stickers to put over with new pictures (that also wear off) so they don’t have to make new HID cards.
Of course, as I said, that wasn’t a thing when I started. I imagine if I pushed it too far it wouldn’t work, but I’m salaried so I have all day to argue with them and keep escalating it up our relative management chains until somebody tells them to just make me a GD badge to be rid of it.
I really think the solution to fixing problems like this is, as someone said, unionize or challenge them and not easily roll over. Just like part of the reason why we ended up in the political place we’re in (at least in the US) is partly because nobody challenged certain people on their bullshit. Sometimes you need to just stand up and refuse to back down because they are just trying to beat you through exhausting you.
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What, does it have a built-in cattle prod?
Spoilered because I don’t want to give them any ideas.
Dear employee:
We have noticed that you have exceeded your daily toilet allotment by 27 seconds. We humbly recommend these simple ways to save time in the toilet:
- Micturate only when defecating
- Do not wash your hands after micturition/defecation
LimitIncrease your rations to 20 grams of chocolate per week- Snort cocaine at your desk
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CringeBadge.
I got DOUBLE BINGO! 
