Electronic badge monitors workers' conversations, toilet usage and posture

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/10/21/electronic-badge-monitors-work.html

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Unionize. It’s the only way to keep this kind if garbage out of already crap workplaces.

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And, apparently workplace crappers, if you"ll allow it…

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If this takes off among corporations, the non-profit sector is going to get a lot more job applicants. There’s no way even medium size NPOs could afford this absurdly inhuman tech.

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Is there a microwave in the lunchroom?

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It’s a workplace-technology race between robotics and AI companies that want to eliminate humans from the workplace entirely and companies like this that want to turn humans into finely tuned Taylorist automatons.

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Does Anonymous still exist?
These people need to be made short work of.

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I’m thinking if I had a badge like that, it might “accidentally” fall into the sink or “accidentally” get stomped to pieces in the stairwell.

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A few seconds in the microwave should take care of it.

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Those shitty employers would just charge the employee for replacements. Guess how I know the employer is shitty.
Zap enough of them and now you’re an indentured servant.

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The kinds of workers who’ll be issued these badges will no doubt be forced to agree to pay a hefty “replacement and restocking fee” out of their own paycheques if something bad happens to them. The trick is to make the “malfunction” look natural (or, better yet, to figure out a way to feed it spoofed data that will keep the HR guard labour off your back).

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“Are your combadges breeding bolsheviks?”

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All the microwave comments (like 2 of them) made me think and wonder why Humanyze doesn’t have a tazer function built in to zap the human for slouching or too much potty time.

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The human body is highly variable and subject to the vagaries of use, misuse, disability and disease. Anyone who thinks they know how long I should spend on the toilet is welcome to come join me and find out why!

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Humanyze 2.0

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I 100% agree with you, but I think the purpose of the technology is to deny your humanity, so pointing out the variability in humans will presumably fall on deaf ears.

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So biorobots, like they used in the Chernobyl cleanup.

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Yes. A higher-tech corporate version of this (that goes on for a lot longer than 90 seconds):

ETA: there’s also a middle course of suckiness.

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“I don’t sweat on company time and I don’t shit on mine.”

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