Amazon patent could lead to downturn in workplace masturbation


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So is that really that much of a problem?
Have I been working at the wrong employers all this time?


So what you’re saying is that they’re sacrificing their employees’ fulfillment for that of their orders.


Yeah, Not cool Bezos!


So, Amazon has some serious workplace issues that I think are covered, but I still think there’s some good being done here. Having a system that helps provide feedback like this in a workplace is probably a general net good. Having done warehouse work anything that helps with the constant scanning/etc probably is a fatigue reducer.

Edit: also, I can’t imagine that they would want employees wearing these into bathrooms/etc. Like most equipment like this already in use (scanners/etc), it probably would get taken off around water.


The bracelets vibrate you say… ?


Could it let the boss know that you were scrolling through Twitter while you had your morning glory… or doing other bathroom things?

No need to worry about that – the fulfillment centers confiscate employees’ smartphones when they come into work in the morning.


There’s a trick Steve Bannon taught me that gets around this little “hand movement” problem. All I need is a locked toilet stall, a little time, and some mouthwash for afterwards.


Hard to say. I can’t imagine, but then I’ve never worked in a warehouse.

Also, I suspect the wearables won’t bother these people one bit. If you’re already wanking it at work, with the possibility your coworkers find out, how this going to change?


Yes, but this story does not have a happy ending.


Maybe this app will prove Bezos’ member is up employee’s backsides…


The thought had, of course, occurred to me when I first read of this in the news


Why invest in robots when you can turn cheap employees into robots instead?


(Link to original.)


Backwards into the future.

Rather than humans wearing waldos on their hands to direct machines, it’s humans wearing brackets to let machines direct their hands.

I guess that’ll last while people are still cheaper than Atlas robots.


Time to build up that ambidexterity unless they are going to force two bracelets, one per wrist. Well, no ankle bracelets yet at Amazon, so, Flexibility FTW!


Anybody have the link for Manna?


“I became part of this team, not because of the pay, not because of the pension, but frankly… the wanking”:


the bracelet would vibrate to indicate where to move their hands

…and the shock collar kicks in if their hands don’t move fast enough.


Didn’t read the whole thing - where does it say they will have to wear these devices on BOTH wrists?