Enormous and “potentially hazardous" asteroid will fly by Earth tomorrow

Asteroid you say?

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my neighbor has “any responsible adult 2020”

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Me: Got Plans?
2020:

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An enormous and demonstrably hazardous ass-roid hit us on 1/20/17.

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Tomorrow, an asteroid that’s at least a mile wide will pass by Earth. While NASA considers the object, named 1998 Or2, to be “potentially hazardous,” it won’t hit us. This time.

Then don’t get our hopes up!

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No, a space pandemic would be technically a different scenario, as described in Michael Crichton’s early novel The Andromeda Strain (1969; film 1971). It actually was a pretty good read; at that point of time Crichton’s work was still fresh and not reduced to cliches.

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That was before he got into his “what if advanced technology enabled history-themed amusement parks that turned out to be really dangerous” rut (Westworld, Jurassic Park, Timeline).

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Terminal Man was pretty good too.

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Want to switch with me? Let’s make some magical educational content for my preschoolers - content that doesn’t require the parents to miss any work, but doesn’t make them feel guilt over excessive screen time, and (most importantly) doesn’t cause them to ask for their tuition back because their child misses me (truly sorry, Head of School!)

At least the middle schoolers have the decency to ignore me when they’re angry…

Rooting SO HARD for this asteroid right now

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We should send a rag tag team of old white dudes to go take care of it. Trump and Biden vs. the Asteroid has a nice ring to it.

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You see!! I told you so said the dinosaur. Then the planet said “where do you suppose that moon came from?” There was a pause.

Awkward too long pause, then just in time some genius said: "gee, golly, since we are doomed anyhow let’s be the early bird getting the worm! We can drain this planet of its life FIRST! Thus when the next lifeless mass crashes into Earth, it would be deprived of its satisfaction, it tried to get us, but no luck, we win :confused:

Score:
Space Thingy - 0
Earthlings: 0.6

In your face physics :wink:

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Fear not noble mutant for it IS as the eloquent poet once said that one time at band camp:

Say not the struggle nought availeth,

 The labour and the wounds are vain,

The enemy faints not, nor faileth,

 And as things have been they remain.

If hopes were dupes, fears may be liars;

 It may be, in yon smoke concealed,

Your comrades chase e’en now the fliers,

 And, but for you, possess the field.

For while the tired waves, vainly breaking

 Seem here no painful inch to gain,

Far back through creeks and inlets making,

 Comes silent, flooding in, the main.

And not by eastern windows only,

 When daylight comes, comes in the light,

In front the sun climbs slow, how slowly,

 But westward, look, the land is bright.

Just realize we were higher than an average astroid when this was penned, so don’t tell anybody, just, carry on and you got this! As you were, mutant!

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He could have just got it over with quickly.

“Come to TimeWorld - stamp on a butterfly, who the fuck knows what happens next?”

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Yeah, if they impacted the surface at a sufficiently high velocity they could have no measurable effect on the trajectory of the asteroid, but might improve the trajectory of the Politisphere back here on Earth.

Ray Bradbury, now immortal, shows up to tell us he told us so?

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I kind of like the idea of him turning up, slapping people and giving a stern “No!” :grin:

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I’m beginning to think that this explains our current timeline.

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Fuck all else can, although @Melizmatic might have been onto something with CERN and their super-collider a decade or so ago.

We’ve all seen how Half-Life turned out…

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I can’t imagine a stern Ray Bradbury.

Only a smiling, gentle, wise one.

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