Equifax is going to rip you off again

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/07/29/equifax-is-going-to-rip-you-of.html

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It’s way past time we destroy the Klepto-Industrial capitalist complex.

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$125 is ridiculously low to begin with, and they’re going to fractionalize that? Indeed, it’s time to drag these execs to the guillotines.

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Regardless of the outcome, the message needs to be sent. The more claimants who respond, it will go on record how many people felt personally slighted by their malfeasance.

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As you know, Equifax violated the trust of 147 million people in a massive data breach in 2017, opening them up to identity theft and other abuses.

Who ever trusted Equifax to begin with? I sure didn’t.

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According to this article, by claiming your $2.11, you also give up the right to sue them. So their $31 million outlay buys them immunity from legal claims that could shut them down, and we all get the price of a Coke out of it.

Can we still class-action the fuckers into oblivion, or do we have to proceed directly to the guillotine stage?

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Equifax is going to rip you off again

Do I get another $125.00 if they do?

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It should be emphasized that if you don’t like the terms of the settlement and would rather sue them (or at least retain the right to sue them) yourself, you should opt out. The instructions are here: https://www.equifaxbreachsettlement.com/faq#q-23

ETA: And, as always, if you don’t like how difficult it is to hold corporations like this accountable, and/or protect consumers in this country, you should vote for every candidate at every level who has input on judicial nominees. We’re pretty well and truly fucked with the generation of federal judges Trump has put into office, but it’s better to fight a fire than let it burn unchecked.

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This is the class action, so by settling this they settle all claims with every person in the class. The only option would be to opt out of the class and sue them individually.

Class actions rarely provide meaningful compensation to the victims—they pay a ton to the lawyers, and sometimes send a message to the company sued.

I’ve had friends at law firms who said they’d often get voice mail blasts seeking a person who could start a class—“if you know anyone who owned this stock in this date range, let us know.” It’s a racket, but seems like a necessary evil.

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Thank you for saying this. Corporate power and situations like this often make me feel helpless. It’s nice to get a reminder that hope isn’t (completely) lost for the future.

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We need a real life Tyler Durden. Im sick of these assholes.

I’m still going to cash that check, even if it’s $0.21

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It just shows how jaded I am that I thought $125 was surprpisingly high. $2.11 does seem more in line with real life as we now know it.

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Actually, we might as well fart in their general direction for all the effect it will actually have on the operation of the company.

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I’m thinking of opting out. I don’t plan on suing, but who knows maybe I want to have that right. I bet Equifax hates people opting out. Why else would they have you submit so in writing? What if millions of people wrote in to opt out? They got to hire actual humans to process those letters. Time to break out my “grandpa cursive!”

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I was afraid of that. OK, guillotines it is, then.

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Dear Equifax Customers,
Here is all of your $2.11. The sum that we accounted for when splitting our bounty like the democratic pirates we are. I hope this taught you all a valuable lesson about being a greedy guts, pining for that $125. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. The price of postage for your monies will be $2.50.
Merry Christmas

Equifux

So less than a quarter for each person in the class. How is that even close to being a fair settlement?

https://www.equifaxbreachsettlement.com/faq#q-24

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When I heard the settlement amount, my first thought was “$125 won’t be nearly enough if I have to struggle for years against identity theft.” It’s the perfect amount–enough to tempt people into applying for a check, but only an infinitesimal fraction of fuck all for a victim of this breach.

I will be opting out tomorrow, and preserving my right to sue for damages if actually affected.

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I’m no lawyer, but the other problem here is that this $125 (or less) is a settlement. That means if you accept this money and later down the line it turns out the Equifax breach ended up costing you even more money from identity theft or what have you, you don’t get to go back to Equifax to sue for more compensation. A settlement means it’s “settled” and you don’t get another bite at the apple. Just something to keep in mind.

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