European Commission spent 360,000€ on a piracy study, then buried it because they didn't like what it said

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“But the plans were on display…”

“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”

“That’s the display department.”

“With a flashlight.”

“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”

“So had the stairs.”

“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”


Another of Burt Lancaster’s greatly undervalued films.

Well, nearly.


Well once I’ve got my doctorate in statistics and the methodology of public surveys I might be able to make some sense of that report. It’s certainly very - technical.

If I’ve understood the conclusions:

There is a negative effect for films but not much of one.

There is some sort of effect for books but no idea what.

More games are sold as a result of illegal downloading that would be otherwise.

There’s no effect for music.

Is that right?


I officially request that any report which should be publicly available but is buried due to bureaucratese or because the contents make someone in power uncomfortable be verbed to ‘Beware of the Leopard’:

“Yeah, I had a FoI request in on that report, but I’ve been waiting for a response for three years now. I think it’s been 'Beware of the Leopard’ed.”


The fact I had to look the quote up when I saw it in the article because it tickled some dormant part of my brain tells me it’s time to read those books again.


Does Theresa May get a new pair of leopard skin shoes every time there is a leak?


Punishment is worse than the crime.

“There’s no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now. … What do you mean you’ve never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”


German Pirate MEP Julia Reda discovered the report on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.’

I have so many questions.
(1) Why are there pirates in parliament?
(2) How did she get into the locked cabinet?
(3) How do you ‘discover’ this? Was she slipped a document by some German Deep Throat whispering 'look in the leopard room?
(4) What does ‘on display’ mean in the context of a locked cabinet?
(5) Who turns a lavatory into a cabinet storage room?

OK - I’ll take the possible bait at face value, just in case you really haven’t read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

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Given the statistical problems with this particular study, isn’t it a time for a metaanalysis of all studies on piracy?

Not to sound like a lefty nut job or anything, but I must ask: Was the study buried because the EC didn’t like it – or special interests on whose behalf they serve didn’t like it? (Just from a POV of logic, a) I don’t believe in piracy as a huge loss for businesses and b) a much bigger problem for the movie and music businesses is YouTube. Just saying; if they wanted a target, piracy isn’t it.

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Of course piracy is the right target. What else are these vile turds going to use as a fig leaf to cover their obscene craving to destroy democracy?

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Foreigners. The answer’s always foreigners.

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