Facebook as stalker ex: When you stop logging in, it incessantly, desperately emails you to lure you back

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/06/21/baby-come-back-to-me.html


It should be noted that facebook is displaying several of the disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual


Same thing happened to me. I created an account to promote my business. Never relly followed through. But they really thought I could never again speak to my sister without their help.


#deletefacebook , if it will let you…


I don’t know what you’re doing wrong but Facebook never emails me. I’ve told it not to.


Ah, so that’s what Instagram was on about yesterday. It sent me an email offering assistance in “helping me log back in,” lol.

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For me nothing is as harassing and devious, mail-wise, as Linked-in.


fb sends emails? hrm… I wasn’t aware I think they all go straight to spam or something.

YES! This has been happening to me, except that it’s not emailing me, just giving me in-app notifications. I turned off push notifications on my phone a few days ago and basically have ignored the app since then. I logged in today and have 12 notifications, all about random acquaintances posting pictures and commenting on status updates.

There’s literally no setting to change this. I’ve turned off every single notification that I can, and I still am getting notified. It’s so crassly obvious–I can’t imagine who thought this would actually work and bring people back to FB.

Yep. the best way is to delete the app. :slight_smile:



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I did this about FIVE YEARS ago, and I still get at least one email a day from FB pleading with me to come back, please come back, so and so a “friend” of a “friend” of someone I dimly remember from school 40 years ago just posted a picture of a PANDA/alien/baby! (Now if I thought it was an alien baby panda I actually might I suppose.) It goes straight to my spam bucket, but I haven’t tried to do anything further, I kinda want to see how long they will go. I understand your basic collection company goes 10 years with their daily phone call, so FB has about 5 more to go. I await the results.

Not if you delete your account, it doesn’t. Still not sure why anyone uses it for anything anymore.

Joke’s on them; I never check my email either.

You can actually turn these mails off.

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My extended family and two of the groups I belong to use FB for everything. I have email notifications set up for when I’m invited to an event, and if anyone tags me. I get about half of the notifications of events, and almost no notifications of tagging (tbh, I’m only tagged about 3 or 4 times a year), but other notifications? Tons. Tons and tons. I’ve received 4 emails so far today, asking me if I’ve seen someone’s comment or someone’s status. None of the people they notify me about is anyone I care about. I’ve never commented on these people’s stuff, I’ve never messaged them, I’ve never done anything but accept their friend request 5 or 10 years ago.

Why, FB, why? I’d like to know when someone invites me to a reunion cookout, but I don’t care if some asshole friend of a friend posted something. I change settings every month or so, but nothing works.

It’s time consuming, but (for those still on FB) you can unfollow everyone (one friend at a time) until you don’t get anything at all in your news feed. It probably defeats most of the purpose from being on the platform at all, but hey, no more updates from the Trump apologist with whom you hung out in high school. I’d also recommend the “Social Fixer for Facebook” extension for Firefox. It helps a bit.

My $0.02:

There are really only a few friends with whom I’d like to keep in closer contact (i.e. phone or email if/when I can’t see them in person), way less than the 250-or-so people on my FB Friends list. But I figured that FB was an easy way to keep in touch with everyone else that I otherwise hadn’t, and maybe wouldn’t, have kept in contact. A few of these people, given the political climate that’s emerged over the past 8 or 10 years, could’ve stayed lost as far as I was concerned, to the degree that it’s tainted my view of FB in general. The other thing that’s happened is that, as long as we’re all on FB, I’ve tended to keep in touch with even my close friends that way (instead of picking up the phone etc.)

Right now my account is deactivated and it’s mostly been that way since the end of last year. I had already changed the FB settings not to receive emails – so I’ve not had the problem described in the article – although I think it still sends a “Welcome Back” email when I’ve logged in again. I haven’t deleted the account outright, only because there are a few people and pages who otherwise have no regularly updated presence on the internet, and once a month or so I’ll log back into FB to see if there’s anything new. (Takeaway: There usually isn’t.)

This all presumes that deactivation gives my account some level of invisibility and/or quarantine that is better than simply logging out, with regard to being tracked or not on other websites (for example). Probably makes no difference, since they track individuals without FB accounts. One other thing that’s kept me from deleting the account, is the presumption that they’ll make good on the supposedly-upcoming feature to delete one’s history, but that this would require signing into an account to do so. If they provide a way to do that, and delete all my photos en masse (instead of individually), then I might actually stick around.

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