Felted chthulhoid Santa with Shoggoth


Pfft, that’s not Chthulhu, that’s just a star-spawn.

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Parody of christian religion is so harmless. Throw jests at some other religions and its a blood bath in the streets.

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In what way is this a “parody of Christian religion”? Did I miss the passage in the New Testament where Santa Claus and his eight tiny reindeer made a visit to Bethlehem? Citation, please.

Everything about Santa Claus* is either a direct borrowing from pre-Christian tradition, a medieval (or later) folk tradition, or a modern capitalistic abomination. Nothing Christian about it, so what was your point again?

*Yes, he’s called Saint Nicholas, but although the blessed Nikolaos of Myra was known for secret gift-giving, the reindeer/sleigh/flying around the world have little or nothing to do with him.


I think you must have misunderstood Lightningwaltz: he’s upset about the parodying of Cthulhu-worship, and pointing out its likely consequences.


You are both funny. I guess I took a giant leap of faith connecting Santa with Christ’s birthday and Christianity. Of course Santa is not in the Bible, neither is Cthulhu. We can argue semantics and split hairs all day, boring as that is.

My point was simply that, if you truly think of Christmas as the celebration of Christ’s birth (in which case you have to ignore the fact that December 25 is almost certainly the wrong date for the actual birth, and was chosen in order to co-opt pagan practices and make conversion more comfortable), you really should already be seeing Santa Claus and the commercialization of the holiday as an abomination. Parodying that which is already a parody is NOT blasphemy.

Although I’m an atheist myself (having been raised first Catholic, and then in a virulently anti-Catholic denomination, and spent a LOT of time in Bible study), I am sensitive to other people’s religious sensibilities IF they come from a sincere belief. I wouldn’t be cool, for example, with replacing the Christ child in my neighbor’s Nativity scene with a Cthulhu figurine (although, if my city chose to erect a Nativity scene with public moneys, I’d be VERY cool with tearing it down).

But if Santa Claus and his reindeer actually form part of one’s “religious” celebration, I suggest, I dunno, reading the Bible or something? Getting offended about something that one has obviously never given any thought to is… dumb. And worthy of mockery.

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Ia! Ia! Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Santa R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn!


The full prayer is, I believe:

You better watch out / You better not cry / Better not pout / I’m telling you why / ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn


I could have used that particular invocation in the shower this morning as I was exorcising some particularly squamous and eldritch Shoggoths from my sinuses. I swear one of them glared at me just before slipping down the drain.

I do so hate December colds.

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I’m going to steal that, if you don’t mind…

Actually, Santa is in the real Bible, which has been suppressed for centuries as part of the War on Christmas. My favorite part is the Miracle of the Elves and Fishes in Chapter 10.

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He knows when you are sleeping and he is awake.

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