They don’t all have to be eaten
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Still… there’s a dystopian sci-fi story in there somewhere… 
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about a certain walrus and carpenter?
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You can preserve any oysters that are not purchased to be eaten fresh and raw.
Asians and New Englanders and others have been preserving oysters for centuries.
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Not that we know the cause yet
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That mega-tsunami speculation was debunked, right?
Just in case, I’m hoping for later… 
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Am I the only one who fears the phones might self-destruct once the app reveals their role in this? 
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From the comments (in Ars, they are almost always worth reading):
mrjk Ars Centurion
REPLY11 MINUTES AGO
Gyrotica wrote:
“The scale of carbon release and temperature increase are vastly different…”
Just, uh, how different are we talking here?
Well we add about 3 to 4 Gigatons of Carbon per year. So 1/10,000 of that release but if we keep it up for 10,000 years we would be in the ballpark and they were talking over 15000 years…
Read that carefully and let it sink in. We are currently emitting CO2 at a rate that exceeds the greatest extenction event in the history of the Earth, The Great Dying. What it took the Siberian traps 15k years to accomplish, we could exceed in 10k. 
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Great, it was sooner:
Cue the tsunami theory stories in the news…
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Not strictly climate change, but still scary. Live news feed:
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A volcano erupted on the Spanish Canary Island of La Palma
Well south of all of the expensive telescope equipment… at least so far…
I’d be putting a tarp over my stuff at least… 
I’m sure they have better plans.
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This is a good one
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