"For Sale"

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Its a real fixer upper, a handy-mans “dream”.

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Bright and sunny second floor!

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It’s a lovely first home for the couple who likes to “do-it-themselves”.

If that’s anywhere near the central zone in London, we’re talking 7 figures. What a steal!

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Looks a bit too upmarket for me

Is a meth lab included?

Helicopter pad ready.

Where is it anyway? We could have a whip-round

Where is this located? I’m from and live near Detroit, so it looks like it should be there.

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Listed on the Coldwell Banker’s books as a 596,000 asset.
This is NOT a toxic asset!
This is part of a AAA package!
Your pension fund owns one 356rd of it as part of a Credit default swap securitized asset.
The papers were Robo signed an the clear title is unknown.
All of this is legal. all of this is fine. You helped pay for this as part of the TARP program. SO in a way you already own it.

Move in Ready!

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Where is this by the way? Reminds me of St Louis City where I live, but it could be Detroit or Baltimore too. Cleveland or Gary maybe?

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If I’m reading the realtor’s sign correctly, it’s a 412 area code, which would put in Pittsburgh or close by.

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This looks like the house that burned down in the middle of Penn Avenue’s “Bride Row” in Pittsburgh a couple months ago. The row of houses (long ago dilapidated and vacant, but just on the edge of a revitalizing/gentrifying area) got its name because of the mural on a nearby apartment building.

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This is a run-down but safe part of Pittsburgh right next to a hip, up-and-coming area, Lawrenceville. So there are lots of vacant but eminently sound brick houses going on the market hoping to catch the next wave of urban pioneer types. This scene is, in all fairness, the result of an unfortunate fire or lightning strike – and an indefatigably optimistic realtor.

Gee, guys! You can call Coldwell real estate at 412 363 4000 if you want it!

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Presumably the land is worth something even after the cost of demo and removal.

Edit: Ok, apparently not.

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When I was moving up to Long Island the market was way up. I had to come into town for one of those whirlwind weekend of househunting things, and I had one of those real estate agents who was of the mind that one never badmouths a house because who knows if your clients might like it or not. Of the (actual) meth house we heard, “with a little work, this could be really cute.” Of the house that was across from the neighbor who decided to turn his ticky tacky every house in three is the same home into a four story monstrosity complete with turrents, “Oh, I’m sure he is a good neighbor and would not cause any problems - look how cute this house is.” Of the house that was owned by a hoarder which we had to wade through the crap to see, and which also had a number of shall we say interesting additions most certainly not done to code or with proper permissions, “What a lot of property for the price.” So I look at this home and think it could easily have been on the tour.

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I just heard, a F5 tornado ripped through Detroit today. It did over $1,000,000 in improvements.