Fox News advice on how to win the lottery


#1

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2016/01/11/fox-news-advice-on-how-to-win.html


#2

Worse than useless fuckers.


#3

Fox News Comedy Channel…


#4


#5

Pshaw. Amateurs. Everybody knows the real winning strategy is to be born to ridiculously wealthy parents.


#6

Totally wrong. Buying more tickets than you can afford will increase your chances of winning even more!


#7

Fox news confuses me. Should I be investing in Gold, Guns, or Lotto tickets?


#8

Isn’t it better to invest into politicians?


#9

I just had a great idea: next time I get contacted by a “Nigerian prince” I make them a counter-offer, I tell them to send me money first so we can buy thousands of lottery tickets, and I’ll split the winnings with them.


#10

It might be helpful if they mention that picking different numbers for each ticket improves odds even more!


#11

The lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math. Fox News is a trap for people who are bad at thinking. Win-win!


#12

… I wasn’t supposed to put the same numbers on those 10,000 tix our pool bought?


#13

Some friends of ours always bought their own copy of the same number that they provided to their pool.

Numbers came up (not the jackpot, but one tier down), they got 10 times as much as their other pool members. Not sure if they ever told them, of course…


#14

Lawyers, guns, and money.


#15

Well now,this really simplifies my retirement plan. Thanks Fox.


#16

Not really. That really is the only way to increase your already small odds.

I know a few times some group bought literally millions of tickets to win.

http://www.nytimes.com/1992/02/25/us/group-invests-5-million-to-hedge-bets-in-lottery.html?pagewanted=all


#17

Work until you die at the mill like in The Good Old Days?


#18

Just give me your money, and I’ll tell you if you won…


#19

If I has $292 million to spare I’d buy one of each combination …


#20

Use your winnings to buy food and clothing for your children!