Honestly, it’s a better strategy than this one:
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That’s a suckers plan. Everyone knows when you profit you REINVEST in your business model.
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Just be sure no one else also wins, you wouldn’t want to split it with them. 
Here’s the thing. You cannot win if you do not play. Buying one ticket increases your odds of winning from ZERO to >ZERO. Thus spending one dollar on a ticket increases your chances infinitely. However buying an additional ticket does very very little to improve your odds, and relative to the benefit of purchasing the first ticket, is simply a wasted dollar.
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I’m not surprised that Fox News gave shitty advice about playing the lottery. I was very disappointed that ABC News gave shitty advice about playing the lottery:
Their tips include:
- Illinois produces the most winners, so move to Illinois.
- Most winners let the machine pick their numbers, so do that to improve your chances.
Apparently, it’s all faux.
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Please fucking tell me that’s not real.
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It is equally true that you cannot lose if you do not play.
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Actually, that’s the one strategy that can actually improve the odds. Some numbers are simply more popular than others - numbers that look like dates, for example, or phone numbers. Those numbers will be picked more often than others, and therefore their payout is more likely to be shared. A purely random selection is therefore slightly less likely to share the payout, which improves the expected value of winnings.
But I still don’t believe in gambling.
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I always found Kentucky’s lottery motto to be pretty skeezy in this regard: “Somebody’s gonna win, might as well be you.”
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Exactly. Your odds of winning is almost zero. Buying any less than 100 million tickets won’t have any effect on that.
I play, because why the fuck not? It’s $2 a week for a lot of daydream material. But I know enough to understand that buying 50 tickets instead of one isn’t going to make the odds measurably better.
Mike’s rules of gambling:
- Play for fun, not to win.
- Never spend more gambling than you would on a movie, bar tab, or whatever else for which you would receive nothing more than a couple hours amusement.
- If you ever feel like you’re actually going to win next time, STOP. You’re not playing for fun anymore.
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Buying ticket after ticket, and never winning, is fun?
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Prediction: This will be won by a non-US Citizen.
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Dreaming about what I’d do if I won is more than $2 worth of fun for me. Knowing there’s that infinitesimal speck of a possibility I could win is what makes it fun. I’m not deluded enough to think it will actually happen.
Alternately, I could go rent Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot from Redbox. Let’s face it- the lottery is a better way to spend that money.
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That’s where you set the bar? It’s more fun than Ninja Turtles?
I’m sure you could quit any time you wanted, honest.
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They say that planning the holiday is half the fun. So why not save money this year and stay at home and plan two?
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I actually had a great hour or two of conversation with my pal Pedro the Cruel the other day, triggered by his purchase of a lottery ticket. Well worth the $2! I hope he wins.
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Definitely more fun than watching a bunch of guys running around and jumping on each other- And about 200 times cheaper. Personally, I think it’s completely insane that people spend money on lousy burnt coffee at Starbucks or watch WWE on pay-per-view.
But hey- whatever makes you happy.
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You reach a point where the odds that you win are similar to the odds of a billionaire taking a sudden liking to you and gifting you a few million.
The second scenario costs nothing, so that’s the one I go with.
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Off the top of my head, I am not even sure where or how you buy a lottery ticket.
Also, a Deep Thought:
It’s easy to sit there and say you’d like to have more money. And I
guess that’s what I like about it. It’s easy. Just sitting there,
rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
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if you pay attention to the advice of the advertizing fox news sells around here the answer is to buy silver plated replicas of classic gold coins.
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