They left out “Twirling moustache and cackling”
Or if their list is to be believed, stroking their freshly shaven face and laughing (because they forgot they shaved off their beard.)
Everything on the list is what I’ve experienced during anxiety attacks, including the last time I was in an airport that filled up unexpectedly.
Avoids eye contact with security personnel or LEO
(pokes TSA drone eyeball) Hey! Nice peepers you got there! Are them things real?
or prefer not flying too sober… or flying hungover… or generally hating humanity in small cylindrical objects infused with 150+ people’s stale farts…
Isn’t that what law enforcement agencies in the US are?
How do you spend a billion dollars on such redolent bullshit? This reads like someone just listed every characteristic given in cheap fiction to indicate that someone is lying. This is the kind of thing a high school class could put together.
They binge watched “Lie to Me”.
Flying makes me jetlagged (yawning) and anxious. Security screenings make me especially anxious because of the way I’ve been treated by the TSA in the past. Basically, they pick people to bully and then when they can tell someone has been bullied by them before, they take it as more sign to hassle their past victim. It’s like being in a high school locker room, aged 14 every time I want to fly.
On the plus side, I’ve come to really appreciate how great trains are.
I have incredibly bad sleep apnea. (AHI>140 in multiple sleep studies) This obviously means I shouldn’t be driving, and maintaining any kind of “schedule” to my sleep is basically impossible. This was bad enough to be declared a disability. (living off SSID sucks)
It goes without saying I yawn all the time.
Now, what I want to know is how this idiotic TSA policy interacts with the Americans wth Disabilities Act. I am certainly no expert, but Title II seems to ban discrimination by disability by public entities.
I’m sure various other disabilities would similarly conflict with many of these idiotic “tells”. I wonder how much a bunch of ADA lawsuits would hurt the TSA…
They’re not. Meanwhile, while most of the other agents divert their attention to the squeaky wheel/decoy/patsy, the real deal gets through the temporarily lax screening process.
Sometimes you are a bit late and want to catch the plane. Some of us have so poor time perception that a half hour to spare feels like no buffer at all. Some of us also don’t go along well with the beehive of an airport, especially an unfamiliar one; the “appears to be confused or disoriented” and “Distracted or inability to pay attention to present situation” apply here pretty well.
As one who has no problems with flying itself but does not exactly cope well with the airports, I swear on Xanax.
contest to see who can hit all 92?
Cover story of latest Skeptic, mag from skeptic.com The Skeptic Society, is on Terrorism. I’ve just finished reading the first article, fairly decent, it focuses on how we live in a culture dominated by manufactured fear, but still misses a lot. I can only say it’s about f’ing time skeptics focus on the biggest, the worst of the mythologies plaguing this country, the national mythologies, adhered to by a larger percentage than religious myths. A little over a year ago, I wrote this organization trying to alert/highlight/goad them into recognizing how their efforts at debunking religion, UFOs, and other delusions were highly laudable and definitely doing some good, but in ignoring/missing this far larger belief system, their efforts were destined to largely fail. I exchanged 4 or 5 emails with a representative of skeptic.com, it proved futile, their argument essentially was ‘it’s politics, we don’t do politics’, it was also a good impression of how creationists argue-ignoring facts, ignoring citations, repeating erroneous assertions shown to be false, and then resorting to accusing me of ad hominem attacks, boring boring. You can’t solve your problems, and this country and the world are wallowing in problems that worsen by the day, if you don’t admit to the problems in the first place, if you live in a virtual reality where Everything Is AWESOME!!!, where meanings are facilely plastic [imminent is maybe, sometime in the indefinite future], and where my country’s shit never stinks. Why are skeptics in general, and the major skeptic organizations, almost totally silent on this?
They forgot to add “mustache twirling”
Hell, anyone taking a 6am flight would exhibit at least 5 of those behaviors.
Perhaps mustache twirling qualifies as “exaggerated or repetitive grooming”? And one may well be left with only a mustache to twirl, after having just recently shaved off one’s beard.
This list is a fake. Where is the real list that includes “Brown People”?
See, this is why I only whistle conspicuously as I stride quickly away from the screening area.
Also, now that this list is on the internet, aren’t terrorists just going to adjust their behaviors?
“Okay guys, change of plans. Those of you who are planning to repeatedly clear your throats while staring wide-eyed at the ground while in the TSA line? Scratch that. Our new deception tactic will be drumming your fingers together while furrowing your brow and humming ‘God Bless America’. Got it?”