Maybe he’d just been listening to Talking Heads a little too much.
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Maybe the mutherfukin snakes were in the attic?
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Plan B was to release the mongoose.
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Many people buy the most expensive property they can afford repayments on. The homeowner actually may have very little money. Still stupid though.
(Edited to remove effect of unconscious bias)
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Who got a match?
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One snake was found by firefighters, it was rescued and relocated elsewhere. There are a couple venomous ones that live in the area (copperhead and timber rattlesnake), but the vast majority are harmless. And, if you can afford a million dollar minimansion, surely you can rent a mongoose?
ETA: It’s kind of heartwarming to know that the firefighters were on Team snake, and only extinguished the fire, not the critter.
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That’s what the flying snakes WANT you to think.
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It is the Dungeons & Dragons’ solution to the problem.
Rogue, “The tunnels ahead are chocked with web and spider nests…”
Wizard, “FIREBAAAAAAAAAALL!!!”
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A pastor once told me that money doesn’t change a person’s character, it throws it into sharp relief.
And I’ve known my share of assholes who didn’t act like the assholes they were when they literally could not afford to do so.
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Yeah, I was gonna say, even if it’s an “honest” accident (ie, not intentional arson), once the homeowner admits he set the fire, how can any insurance company cover any part of the damage? Its a total $1,500,000 loss. (He might even be liable for the municipal costs to put out the fire?!)
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I’m sure he was too cheap to spring for the mongoose – they’re expensive and you just wouldn’t believe what a bag of Purina Mongoose Chow costs today.
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Decisions like the home owner leaving the premises while coals were burning provide what my firefighter friends describe as ‘job security’.
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Can’t have snakes in your house if there is no house. Genius!
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Best case he ends up with a bunch of dead rotting snakes in the walls.
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“Nobody is sure what happened to the snakes.” In unofficial remarks, officials indicated, “Mmm, tastes like chicken.”
We had quite a severe ant problem at the vineyard this year. I had Art Garfunkel come by with his compressor, and we created a total vacuum outside the house, and we blew the ants out the front door.
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