That bird wearing a Timex?
3 Likes
These days, I’m afraid someone might punch a swan, though.
4 Likes
Genius
2 Likes
I’m afraid I can’t do that.
4 Likes
I’m with @SpunkyTWS. I can’t stand at the edge of a high precipice, but I can certainly get down on my belly and shimmy up to peek over.
2 Likes
Oh, I’ve heard that one quite a few times. I’m sorry folks, I can’t really get it. I float like a cork.
I’m more scared of what might be in the water. I can float on my back till the cows come home, but sharks don’t like lean cuts.
1 Like
Sax mouthpieces aren’t properly built for that. Although I did see a fellow Sousaphone player knock his two front top incisors out on his tuba mouthpiece when he slipped on a small patch of ice when we were marching in the Seattle thanksgiving parade.
Somehow he managed not to get any blood on his expensive uniform and “pretended” to play the rest of the march.
4 Likes
“Hell yeah”
said the guy who built a flame thrower out of a Zippo, a pesticide sprayer, and a few gallons of kerosene when he was 16.
4 Likes
I always imagine tripping over or bumping into the banister/guardrail. They always seem to be so short that they’re below a human body’s center of gravity. What’s supposed to be a safety feature, my mind highlights as a trip hazard.
I float like a rock, so I get it. I can walk along the bottom just fine, but if it’s so deep that my head would be underwater, I couldn’t do it for very long.
5 Likes
I’m with you, I love floating in the water no matter how deep it is.
What can be in the water is much more terrifying. Not a fan of leaches or water snakes(damn those things are fast). For a while after taking microbiology classes I was afraid of what was in the water. So many tiny things you can’t see that can be nasty.
I got over it by summer because I usually define a good summer by being able to go in at least three of the great lakes.
5 Likes
Nope, nope, nope.
I got vertigo yesterday climbing up a set of metal steps that had treads but no risers, so you could see through them, and that was enough. Even though there was no feasible way I could have squeezed through.
Strangely enough, I didn’t get vertigo on the way down those same steps.
2 Likes
I cannot step on to a down escalator without holding on. I’m afraid to take a header on the thing. I see other people getting on without holding on and it’s like they are walking on water to me. Really only presents a problem with I got my hands full with stuff and need to shift it around. It has to my right hand that holds on to it (which I just realized).
3 Likes
Those are inaptly named Mute Swans, and they are royal assholes. Trumpeter Swans will not set a nest anywhere humans tread with regularity. Trumpeters are notably not assholes.
6 Likes
Someone missed that this was fiction. It overly romanticizes both pet geese and Southern cotton farming.
One thing I’m not afraid of: the minutiae from my childhood my brain can’t let go of.
5 Likes
4 Likes
Am I afraid of getting a Donald in the questions thread?
5 Likes
When I lived in NYC, I was in the basement with the lights off one night, trying to stay cool in a heat wave. I watched as somebody pushed the window open, popped the screen out, and started to climb down. When they were down to about their shoulders, I loudly said “HI!” and watched as they froze and in a panic began to hurry back up out of the window. I touched their legs and asked “Where are you going? Would you like some tea?”, but they didn’t answer. They shit scared.
10 Likes
Now imagine how afraid you would be if you suddenly realized that you were not holding and blowing into a saxophone, but a goose!
3 Likes
