I am afraid

I’m not suicidal. I just think it’s nice that one day, I’ll be dead, and that’ll be it. I won’t have to deal with anything, or be in pain, cuz I’ll not be existing.



lol, I might as well have put “getting rickrolled”, here’s the video:


Wow. That’s… awful.


i am afraid of developing a condition–whether because of some organic cause within me, because of some change in medication (i take a lot of meds for blood pressure, diabetes, and asthma), or because of some type of mental illness–which causes my personality to gradually change in such a way as to eventually alienate everyone who means anything to me and leave me alone and embittered but without a clue as to why i’ve ended up that way.


I too had a horrible fear of zombies. It was my one reoccurring nightmare for decades. The man I dated longest I dated in part because he was the one person who never got turned into a zombie in my dreams. In the waking world I would identify anti zombie weapons everywhere I go so I always knew where to get one. Walking down a street I would evaluate houses as possible refuges from zombies. Then I got sick and I started dreaming about being a zombie and nombies zombies are more urrgg than Ahhhh.


After I shook off my early childhood baptist brainwashing (at 10 years old), I used to wish aliens would come and take me away because this world sucks and I could no longer believe in a god that allowed it to be the way it is. I an still disappointed that we can’t seem to find signs of life out there.


I’m afraid that I will live always in pain past the point that I can take care of myself or communicate my needs. I think this fear comes from the anti compassionate suicide movement who think that any life is better than no life at all. I’d much rather die quick than be trapped in my body slowly decomposing mentally and physically.


At least you’ll have an assured food supply.


That really is a nightmare. It basically happened to a neighbour of ours, although it was more sudden than gradual. Alzheimer’s or meds, I’m not sure. Compounding the tragedy is that many people will never remember the way one used to be, just the asshole one became.


My fear?

That I have already peaked. That my time is passed and what I am now really is all I am capable of.


I am afraid of the Supreme Court’s Citizens United decision, because it gave so much power to rich lunatics like Robert Mercer, lunatics who in turn gave us Trump.

Mercer wants the U.S. government to be “shrunk down to the size of a pinhead.” Several former colleagues of Mercer’s said that his views are akin to Objectivism, the philosophy of Ayn Rand. Magerman told me, “Bob believes that human beings have no inherent value other than how much money they make. A cat has value, he’s said, because it provides pleasure to humans. But if someone is on welfare they have negative value. If he earns a thousand times more than a schoolteacher, then he’s a thousand times more valuable.” Magerman added, “He thinks society is upside down—that government helps the weak people get strong, and makes the strong people weak by taking their money away, through taxes.” He said that this mind-set was typical of “instant billionaires” in finance, who “have no stake in society,” unlike the industrialists of the past, who “built real things.”


Sign up for a triathlon. Believe me.

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I’m 45. My two biggest fears as kid were ghosts (thanks to Poltergeist – holy shit) and aliens abductions. Probably between ET, Close Encounters, and some “documentary” of four camping buddies who supposedly were all abducted while camping up in Maine I think, which I may have seen in high school, college, or even later. no longer afraid of either. Moved on to more real things – like falling trees. And ED.


Could be worse try watching the truman show as a kid.

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I am afraid that the good guys don’t know how to win.

Bonus Fear: And they think they do.


They’re long out of practice, aren’t they?


I am afraid that the bad guys (and gals) are going to keep on winning because they have so much of the fucking money.


Don’t fear ED. It just happens, it blows (ha!), But there is so much more to close intimacy.

I am afraid because I am now officially 39. I have close friends that I continually reject, a drive to go… Somewhere I don’t understand, and little realistic safety net. I know what I need to do, but self sabotage at every step.

This makes me afraid because I care about my loved ones, yet all I see are my own flaws.

Oh, and I want to hug a bear. Which I think is Remedial Self Sabotage :grinning:


Wait a second, how did I miss this:

Hot air balloons. They are terrifying. I have flown hundreds of thousands of miles. But a mile into the sky in a wicker basket made in Belgium?

What’s the phrase…? Oh, it’s Fuck That Shit.


Heart attack. Just like Fred Sanford. I’ve already unecessarily spent two separate nights in the hospital in the last 15 years due to imagined or temporary chest pain, despite the fact that I’m probably in better physical condition now than at any time in my life.