I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand (well, I heard it through the grapevine)

games
265

Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

4 Likes
266

Gum chewing’s fine if it’s once in a while, it stops you from smoking and brightens your smile.
But it’s repulsive, disgusting, and wrong, chewing and chewing all. day. long.
The way that a cow does.

6 Likes
267

Just wipe your own ass and shut your mouth
I had enough and you’re going down
Shut your mouth

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268

Don’t talk back, just drive the car
Shut your mouth, I know what you are
Don’t say nothing, keep your hands on the wheel
Don’t turn around, this is for real

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269

Just tell your hoodlum friend outside, you ain’t got time to take a ride.
Yakety yak (Don’t talk back!)

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270

Here in my car, where the image breaks down
Will you visit me please, if I open my door?
In cars

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271

We’re on a road to nowhere.

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272

I don’t care what time will tell
Just tell me if I might as well be halfway to hell
Goin’ nowhere fast

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273

Driving faster in my car
Falling farther from just what we are
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more
These conversations kill

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274

I took a bite off my donut then I offered her one
I said, "Lady, are you in a fix?"
Then she reached in her purse and she pulled out a gun
And said “Now, just shut up and keep your hands on the wheel”

"Just drive, " she said "Just drive, " she said

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275

I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane with a rabid wolverine in my underwear,
when suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes!

5 Likes
276

#meta // As @Donald_Petersen has already said above: I got nothin’ and I can’t wait to see what follows this one.

2 Likes
277

(#meta @snowlark challenge accepted)

Go on and write me up for one twenty five
Post my face, wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can’t drive fifty five

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278

Where’d you learn how to steer?!
You do eighty in second gear.
When you drive, I can’t relax
Got your license from Cracker Jacks

3 Likes
279

I’m not the type to complain;
but the time has come for me to explain
that if you don’t apply some brake real soon,
they’re gonna have to pick us up with stick and a spoon.

3 Likes
280

“Hey, Buddy, how can I get this car
Out of second gear!”

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281

I’m a gonna let you blow the horn, I’m a gonna let you blow the horn
A oorah, a oorah, a oogah, oogah

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282

Move bitch, get out the way.

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283

Get out the way, MOVE!

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284

Move it on over

4 Likes