In Japan, you can rent your friends


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A hundred [$currency_unit]s worth of coke will let you do this pretty much anywhere, for about the same amount of time.


I must be secretly Japanese because i do this. Even when i feel overwhelmed, depressed or have extreme anxiety i feel like i need to continue like nothing is out of the ordinary. It’s very difficult asking for help or just talking about things with friends and family, i’ve tried working on it but it’s an ongoing struggle :[


Isn’t “friend for rent” the world’s oldest profession?


“With us,” Yumi says, “people can talk about their feelings without worrying what their real friends think.”

So, you rent a real friend so as not to upset your fake friends?


Also known as “stiff upper lip”.


So the sales pitch was “It’s like Uber, for therapy”


If I could be guaranteed that I wouldn’t be in danger of mental/physical harm from the “renters”, I would totally do this job.


I buy mine outright; much cheaper in the long run.


So now I can pay people to smile politely while silently judge me?


There’s a story that Lenny Bruce hired a prostitute to read an early draft of How To Talk Dirty & Influence People. After a few pages she said, “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather fuck?”


(No, this isn’t code for prostitution.)



Yeah, I can relate. Sometimes, it’s like, in order to keep everything together, I have to continue to pretend that everything is okay. I do appreciate the “fuck today” thread - it’s good for being separate enough from “real life” that I can talk there


And the hand can be used like a knife!


Great! I’m moving this weekend and could use a hand…


Pffft, I ain’t that kind of friend.
I mean, sorry, sir, my services are all booked up this weekend!


I thought that was what telemarketers were for.


Sometimes friends just show up at the door!


…but you can’t rent your friends’ noses.


You rent a friend, because their job is to indulge your otherwise socially inappropriate behavior (as F-ed up as it may be that it’s socially inappropriate for you to confide in your friends, and have them help you carry your burden).

I’d suggest that this could be done for free via the interwebz, but I doubt that most Japanese would be willing to step outside of the Japanese frame of reference socially for assistance. It would be seen as a sign of weakness of Japanese society, a betrayal as it were.