Just in time for Valentine's: Who's your Orc daddy?

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Originally published at: Just in time for Valentine's: Who's your Orc daddy? | Boing Boing

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While it’s all well and good to give them Valentine’s loving epithets (e.g. “Clingy Orc”) here’s a (complete?) list of every Tolkien named Orc from which to choose:

Azog Balcmeg Boldog Bolg Golfimbul Gorbag Gorgol Gorganog Gothmog
Great_Goblin Grishnákh Guritz Lagduf Lug Lugdush Lurtz Mauhúr Murgash
Muzgash Orcobal Othrod Radbug Shagrat Shaknar Sharku Snaga Ufthak Uglúk

Bonus quizzy: which two of: Cirith Ungol, Orthanc, Minas Tirith, Barad-dûr, Minas Morgul are “The Two Towers”?

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Yes! 

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There is a point at which a giant catapulted piece of wall is about to absolutely crush this boss betch and he casually slides out of the way. Then he spits on it. The scene should honestly be on Pornhub.

I’m not going to check.

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200

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There’s something so wrong about this list and the commentary that it’s amazing.

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at first i was “oh HELL no” but by the end i was laughing so hard. A-plus, would read again.

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I would say Gollum, but you know he is just all about putting a ring on it.

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tinder

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Easy. Sauron’s and Saruman’s … so, Barad-dur and Orthanc …

EDIT: :poop:, I got tricked by the movies! I would have bet that’s the book’s answer, too.

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