Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/12/13/kfc-introduces-a-firelog-that.html
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I really don’t see the point of making your fireplace smell like some chemical engineer’s idea of fast food.
OTOH, for those wondering what on earth they should do with the deluge of free community newspapers and store flyers and other paper that get shoved under your door or into your mailbox every week: Roll all that newsprint up really tight, tie it off with twine, and presto, free firelog. For bonus added colour flames, just insert some glossy advertising flyers.
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I want one. Ok. Maybe two.
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Um…
If I want my house to smell like fried chicken… I’ll just fry some actual chicken.
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I’m willing to cut corners.
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So, these firelogs, do they taste better than KFC?
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That smell is the reason why I donated my frydaddy to goodwill. What an awful smell. I refuse to deep fry anything in my home.
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Or order some takeout (not from KFC, unless you are very unlucky in your restaurant choices). Either way, you get to smell (and eat!) actual chicken instead of burnt chemicals that might be vaguely reminiscent of chicken.
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Deep fried whatever can make a nice garnish.
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Pop Eye’s Chicken is jealous.
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Good name for a band.
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Exactly. This is as bad as the advice to make a house smell good by heating cinnamon and sugar in the oven. No one mentions that visitors start thinking there will be cookies, or how disappointed they become when they learn the truth.
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Code Name: Fire Log
Roger That!
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All this talk of fried chicken, real and simulated, has now made me hungry for some Hainanese fried chicken, dammit.
I’d think that, best-case scenario, it would smell like burnt grease and dehydrated chicken.
Thanks to the previous (re)post about the butthole chocolates, I’m thinking that company should also do a firelog that smells like ass. At least it would be deliberate.
Ok, I’m no longer hungry for chicken.
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I vaguely recall that, as a child of the mid '70s, my parents had some hippy guidebooks and maybe even a tool to make newspaper into logs. I think you needed some kind of binder. I can’t imagine that just a rolled paper would burn well. The paper and air layers are really good insulation - as anyone who’s tried to burn stacks of paper before.
(pro tip - use a shredder first)
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And you can follow up the KFC firelog with a Pepto-Bismol firelog.
Hopefully you won’t have to break out the Preparation H firelog. Although they do have awesome promotional music for that, courtesy of Johnny Cash.
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I burn one of these in the backyard firepit whenever my hens get lazy with the egg laying.
Productivity soars.
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So if I understand this correctly it’s basically a raccoon beacon.
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