Lifehacks for sociopaths


#1

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#2

Have race and class privilege? These tricks will probably work great for you.


#3

Want to become filthy rich without providing value to society? Become a stock broker.


#4

That’s lifehack #1!


#5

Need to prop a door open? Use your copy of the complete works of Ayn Rand.


#6

I actually know a trust-fund leech who’s been running the laptop scam (and the “Oh, I forgot my wallet. Can you cover this time?” scam) for years.

I’d love to see a test for correlation between “old money” and “cheap sonsofbitches”.


#7

What, and risk tripping and breaking a toe?


#8

Ugh, my housemate tried #1 on me … he took the flowers I got for my dead grandfather (who passed right around Valentine’s day) and gave them to his girlfriend. Then blamed the misunderstanding on her – just because he left a note for her next to my flowers (which he moved to a place where she could find them easier) and she happened to take the flowers doesn’t mean he gave them to her. Nice guy otherwise, but never forgave him for that.


#9

I don’t think the third one is actually unethical any more than any other example of buying the same product for the lower price rather than the higher one if it’s marketed at different prices to different customers.

Unless the reason why LSAT photos are so cheap is that the administrators of the LSAT subsidise them.


#10

Some of these are actually pretty clever, I’ve been reading them since the link went up, although others will almost certainly get you caught (like taking a lamp out of a lamp box at a store and filling it with DVD’s lol). The stuff about photoshopping documents to get discounts or reimbursements might effective, if you were so inclined. There’s a number of pretty clever ideas on here, but then you have to ask, “is that the kind of person you really want to be”. Or, “how would I feel if more and more people acted like this”.

I don’t know that you need a certain race or “privilege”, although it is true that you need to develop a certain air of honesty and integrity to get away with stuff like this (just in general). People are more suspicious now than ever, so it seems, so you have to build that rapport first. People generally WANT to be trusting and to be trusted, so there’s already one point in your favour. I think it really comes down to being relatable, show other people that you’re “like them”. I think sometimes you have feel the person out to see what they’re going to find relatable. Sometimes when I’m trying to relate to someone I talk about things that sound like deep or personal truths but could generally apply to everyone, and word it in a way to help them relate to you. It shows that you’re “connected” and it helps people trust you, or at least that be generally relatable.

Anyway, this kind of reminds me of those old 2600/anarchist cookbook articles for early 90’s nostalgia. I remember way back in the day somethingawful.com did a parody series of this kind of thing where they’d talk about these clever pranks or hacks but they were all totally implausible or ridiculous (and hilarious). I wanted to post a link to it but I can’t find it on google :frowning:


#11

Sort of like when purchasing goods and services for a wedding, never mention the word “wedding”. The price will immediately increase.


#12

My main problem with #3 is that this sort of thing gets out, lots of people try it, and before long they’re charging the same price for the photos – and ten years later, people will be berating clerks for failing to give them the discount they read about somewhere.


#13

Meh, they could just request a form from your high school or community college or whatever. Actually surprised they don’t already.


#14

On the site, one of them is “Only date single moms because they are preoccupied with their kids and mostly only call you for sex so you are free to date other single moms.”

A friend of mine actually does this very thing and he swears by it!


#15

That was part of the premise of About a Boy – Hugh Grant’s character does that for a while.

I tried dating a single mother. She called me to babysit. I became a stepfather.


#16

I expect the correlation is strong on the grounds that spendthrifts are unlikely to remain “old money”.


#17

This? http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-wealth-reduces-compassion/


#18

My college microecon prof would have just called that a market correction.


#19

Sure. That part makes sense.

I had more in mind how these little tricks for screwing over customer service people for your personal benefit seem to persist long after the rules have been changed so that the tricks don’t work anymore.


#20

Yeah, that’s true. Also This:


Would work perfectly, except coinstar machines are usually flush against the port/wall and weigh between hundreds and thousands of pounds. Good luck trying to unplug that ethernet cable without a forklift.