Man sues Apple for failing to save him from smut


#1

"The Plaintiff became totally out of synch in his romantic relationship with his wife, which was a consequence of his use of his Apple product." [Above the Law via DF] READ THE REST


#2

C'mon, dude, you used a product whose logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it. Surely you weren't expecting something other than corruption at the hands of original-sinning harlots, were you?


#3

What's funny is that if it had been the results of something in the App Store, he might have a case, since Apple has taken responsibility for censoring that...


#4

The guy is brilliant. I shall retain him to represent me in my lawsuit against the manufacturer of the couch my dad hid his magazines under.


#5

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in the Apples, but in our bananas.


#6

Exactly my thoughts.


#8

Do they guarantee that their content is smut-free?

As far as I know, they just refuse to sell stuff they find objectionable, but they don't advertise that their store's censored.


#9

Hmm .... class action suit, anybody?


#10

I was reading something the other day about "adults" clamoring for porn filters on their devices

A post on the blog for Web filter Optenet reads, “We discovered that many adults were buying parental controls to install on their own computers. But then those adults realized that if they installed the web filter software themselves, they would know the password and every time they felt tempted, they could simply use the password to turn the filter off.” So they developed a way for users to generate a random and easily forgettable password and then use a company staff member as an “accountability partner.

Accountability partner. Now there's an interesting euphemism.

I don't want the services of a dominatrix. I want an accountability partner who will spank me when I've done wrong.


#11

Alas, he is currently unable to practice law having been placed on 'Disability inactive status' due to mental or physical incapacity(take a guess which...)

I assume that he can still represent himself, pro se; but no dice for you.


#12

Doesn't Apple open themselves up to something here by requiring that you attest that you are 17 y/o or older to download Chrome (a web browser) because of (quote from iTunes) "Frequent/Intense Mature/Suggestive Themes"? And not requiring such an attestation in order to own a device with Safari pre-installed? Apple seems to know that you could use a web browser to access adult material, and they provide a warning for their competitor's products.


#13

The entire complaint is worthy of originating from the bowels of Conservapedia. The author is yearning for a 1950s that didn't exist, where the men were Christian, the women were good Christians and knew their place was in the kitchen and in the bedroom and knew when to be in each WITHOUT THE MAN HAVING TO SAY A WORD, and atheists and gays shut the hell up and made themselves scarce if they knew what was best for them, and he's angry that it's 2013 instead.

Also, I wonder if this isn't him trying to cover his butt against his relationship with his wife falling apart -- transferring the blame onto Apple for ruining his relationship because how can he think his wife is attractive when these barely-legal sirens are luring him with their Photoshopped tits. Trying to make a paper trail to block pre-nuptual provisions or something?


#14

UPDATE (5/12/2013, 5:15 p.m.): As a reader pointed out to us via email, and as noted in the comments, Chris Sevier (aka Mark Christopher Sevier) has been placed on disability inactive status by order of the Tennessee Supreme Court, due to “mental infirmity or illness.”

Seems quite a bit less funny now to me.


#15

http://www.contactmusic.com/news/man-arrested-for-allegedly-stalking-john-rich_3737669

A man has been arrested in Tennessee for allegedly stalking country star John Rich.
Mark Christopher Sevier was taken into custody on 23 June (13) after the Big & Rich star provided evidence to police that he was being harassed by the 36-year-old lawyer via email.
He was charged with aggravated stalking and later released after posting $4,000 (£2,581) bond.
Sevier is due back in court on 29 July (13).
This isn't the first time Rich has run into trouble with Sevier - the singer won two restraining orders against the man last year (12) following similar stalking accusations and they were involved in a copyright infringement lawsuit in 2011.
Sevier also previously represented aspiring singer Jared Ashley in an assault case against the star in 2009.

It is much less funny that his behavior had to reach this point before anyone took any actions.


#16

Has he read about Ulysses and the Sirens? "Therefore pass these Sirens by, and stop your men's ears with wax that none of them may hear; but if you like you can listen yourself, for you may get the men to bind you as you stand upright on a cross piece half way up the mast, and they must lash the rope's ends to the mast itself, that you may have the pleasure of listening. If you beg and pray the men to unloose you, then they must bind you faster."


#17

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