Master your DSLR with this photography training bundle now only $29 in the Boing Boing Store

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The equivalent of a five-year university degree can now be yours in only 60 hours!*

*(Diploma not included)

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Certification of completion included!

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Japhroaigs School of Photography

  • Aim whatever you have at something
  • Make sure your feet or a cat is in the shot
  • Arch your eyebrow
  • Jump around while you take the shot

There, I just saved you $29.

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If anyone’s looking to get better at shooting with their DSLR and save $29, I have two pieces of advice. First, read the manual that came with your camera. It explains the important things. Second, take a bunch of pictures, then look at them, think about what would have helped improve it, and try similar shots to see if that helps. Third (one bonus tip free with this comment) think about the lighting, good vs bad lighting is the biggie.

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Get a tripod and just start saying the word ‘bokeh’ all the time. Even if your photos look like crap, you will still impress people.

(BTW your bird shots are really incredible. The composition is visually striking, and could easily be in birding/twitching magazines)

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Get a tripod
Use the word ‘bokeh’ all the time
Buy $20,000 in gear
Criticize other people’s photos a lot - “seen that” is always perfect
Tell everyone you only shoot prime (hide the zoom if anyone’s looking)
Tell anyone using a camera phone they’re not real photographers
Slag Ansel Adams
Write about photography more than you take pictures

You are now a master.

Thanks!

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Bwahahahahaha!!! That made my day!

Could I add…

Yeah, just do your vertical aspect correction on the bellows of your large format hasselblad. (Somehow I’d still get my feet or a cat in the shot)

Ooh, ooh, this is a general purpose tip. You can use it in photography, video, animation, sound, whatever.

Ahem.

Eh, I’ll fix it in post.

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IIRC, hasselblad cameras are “medium format”, not “large format.” More to the point, they don’t have bellows, so half the information contained in

is quaint and or useless

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Ya sure hasselblads don’t have bellows?

Dude, my mom has one made in the twenties (I seem to recall) in her dark room. Talk about a weird, virtually unusuable beast.

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Ooh,ooh, I’m doing that right now!

God I’m a fucking hipster. I’m gonna go take more photos of an octopus on my head for @Humbabella.

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You have to keep taking photos of an octopus on your head every day to really improve your skills. Clearly constant cephalic cephalopods could correct camera catastrophes.

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Nice bokeh. Ansel Adams never took anything as good as this.

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Frankly, that looks like a macro setup.

A view camera can do things like this

Often, the purpose of such movements was to ensure a perfectly sharp picture, despite the shallow field of view associated with the large film format. Bokeh was quite often not desired. Of course, bellows could also be used to make buildings appear erect, rather than keystoned.

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Day one, practice with stuffed cephalopod.
Day two, begin work with thawed octopus from Chinese market.

Day thirty, find an aquarium enthusiast who will lend you a live octopus.
Day thirty-one, find another aquarium enthusiast who will lend you a live octopus.

Day three-hundred-sixty-five, octopus on your head photo mastery complete.

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Aren’t they amazing and maddening at the same time?

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Whelp. I have the concept for my new blog.

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