Men should be required to have a female profile for at least a week on any dating site before they’re allowed to make a real one.
10 Likes
Problem with toxic masculinity is it isn’t limited to toxic males. It’s a behavior pattern, an -ity, mostly shown by folks with a dick, surely - but it really is wildly pervasive, and celebrated in popular culture. Anyone might punch down on folks who never bothered nobody. That’s people for you - but there is a male-pattern of violence, surely. It’s said men are less likely to use poison or triangulation, and more likely to use weapons and finances as levers of control
Culturally, movies like Bridesmaids and Heathers are compelling for such a reason. They’re not about powerful people, they’re about ladies behaving like toxic dudes to explore and regain personal power - and then getting over it and arriving at empowerment, which is not about control.
The end of Heathers has a young woman resolving a big issue with a toxic male problem, by using toxic male pattern behavior instead of what is considered toxic female behavior (like her old friends, including the poisoner). Neat stories for that reason. IMO. Very informative. Table turning upon table turning. But hardly role models for health. Good thing they’re just movies. Good thing most people are Victoria when they realize Heather isn’t a good look on them, and that their pate pushing pater isn’t a muderous mogul.
In the same spirit - there are “feminine” caretaking roles not limited to folks with vaginas.
Culturally, movies like Mister Mom, Awakenings, or Roman Holiday have such characters, and often the plotline is about them holding on to and strengthening those pro-social characteristics, not losing them.
Because caretaking is indeed better than toxicity, for people. But toxicity is more addictive, for people, too.
I say make the movie you wish to live. You’re the casting director and lead scriptwriter. Be the change!
Any of us fuckity-can! Should we choose to want a less toxic outcome. To be our true Victoria! (or our true whatever the main character in Roman Holidays’ name is, who in the end honored his best parts, which wasn’t his dick)
At the end of the day, there is an axis of sensitive/insensitive in there as well. None of us are finished cuts.
And I hope y’all don’t think the ladies on those dating sites are much more a gem, they do seem generally more aware how they come across in public. Some of them get you alone and the gloves come right off. BIG FUN. That’s real too.
At least that MRA dudes profile comes with a warning label!
As best I can tell, in a ladies dating profile, if they are drinking alcohol in more than one picture, they’re going to be trouble. Bet that’s true of dudes, too.
Take care!
1 Like
Reminds me of the guys in high school who, when asked their opinion on gay people would tend towards something like:
“I dunno. I guess they’re cool or whatever. But if one of those fags ever hit on me I’d [do all kinds of violent things]”
while the guy gets worked up more and more when you ask him questions like “why the hell would you cut a guy who said he was attracted to you?”
2 Likes
Yeah. There is a story in the news today that strikes me that way. I won’t go off topic, and get into it, but I do have to wonder if the person in question would be quite as outraged and hurt if a woman had grabbed his wedding tackle at a bar one time and propositioned him, 30 years ago.
I’ve surely had mine groped in a bar, several times. Not my scene. Is some peoples scene.
I figure as long as people take no for an answer, it’s a 5 yard penalty - not 15 or 25 for a flagrant personal foul. (what a violent toxic male metaphor I’ve used! :O)
1 Like
I did something similar once as well. It was eye opening.
4 Likes
This topic was automatically closed 30 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.
